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I have a big doubt about a woman from Ukraine

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  • I have a big doubt about a woman from Ukraine

    Hi, I am a man from Europe and have met a girl from Ukraine through Internet recently. The thing is she seems to be very nice and kind (unless through email and phone since we haven't met in real yet, although maybe we will).
    When I asked her why she wanted to find a man from abroad she said she wanted to find a man not in her country since she doesn't see a good future in her country (although she has a more or less good situation proffessionally speaking) and then she wants to leave her country. She also mentioned many men in Ukraine has alcohol problems and she wants a healthy man, that is compeletely normal, but I wonder if she just wants to escape from there..

    (I have to add though that never asked me for money or anything material).

    Honestly, except for that, she seems an excellent person, but that makes me thing that she just want to leave her country, and if one day we meet and supposedly we like each other I will always have the doubt if she likes me or just wanted to leave her country...

    Anyone had the same doubts? I feel a bit confused because in one hand she seems very nice and good person, but in the other she seems that she only want to get married with a foreigner which to me it is not very normal...

    I don't want to have a wife she is with me just because she wanted to leave her country.. I guess like anyone... I want a wife that loves me for what I am, not for what I am from or what I have... I understand having a medium-high standard of life can have its importance but to value it so much it really makes me to feel in a big doubt.....

    Any help or comment are really welcome.

    Thanks in advance.

  • #2
    Jessm,

    You are a new member here and so you start with a question that has been discussed numerous times on these threads. Take some time and read back through some of the older threads on this board and you will have many of your questions answered. If you should by chance come up with an original question I am sure that many here will offer their opinion.
    A one liner though, men over there drink a lot, many many women want to leave, and they know their best chance is a western man. That does not mean that you will not find a "KEEPER", it just means you have to be careful. But, do you honestly think that based on an internet/telephone relationship that you should be even remotely looking to the future just yet. Go see her, if nothing else you will get to visit a beautiful country and meet some wonderful people, and you will have someone special to show you around. If it developes from there, "lucky you".

    Len

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    • #3
      I met my Ukrainian wife through the net just over a year ago and she gave exactly the same reasons for using the net we are now very happy and have also met quite a few Ukrainian and Russian women here in the UK who have also married English men...I also agree that you can`t really think of the future until you have met...and if it doesn`t work out I am sure you will at least fall in love with Kiev I hope everything will work and for you both and wish you both a very happy future...hopefully together:-)))
      John 3/16

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      • #4
        She wants love and ....



        Maybe she wants love and a happy family and she knows her best bet is not in Ukraine. Many of these women just want to be happy with a good man who would love them and treat them well.
        Just because she wants to leave her country does not mean she would not love you and be happy in marriage to you. It probably means that her best bet for love and a happy life is not in Ukraine.

        Cameo

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        • #5
          strange world

          My Ukrainen wife asked to me to left Italy for grown up a family and live in Ukraine. am i an extra-terrestrial or do you think that true love have no countries, religion, etc ? ;-)

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          • #6
            Where are you from?
            Well, plz don't think like that about alll girls from ukraine.
            Well i think if you have that kind of situation, than just leave her.My friend likes the ukrainian girls, so he found one in his country, and she had a british passport already. So you can do it too, less worry and better for you.

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            • #7
              kinda a hard situation,

              But i advice you to make some simple tests :-),through those tests,you may find out if she really wants you.

              first of all,go visit her. keep asking about her history,previous relationship.

              keep telling her that your have a money troubles,tax payments ..etc. and you will see if her behavior changes..

              Comment


              • #8
                ...

                Jessm...

                There are a couple of very good points that have been made by previous respondents to your post...

                Go back and really READ some of the past threads... then also go read my own post of three before yours "Caveat Emptor" for a generic evaluatation and commentary...

                The point is that opportunities for a "better life" are not THAT evident in Ukraine... certainly not obtained by "honest" means and also only for a very few... Women - anyway - are disadvantaged to a greater extent in mostly all of these Eastern European countries... That's just the way the society works there at the moment.

                There IS an alcohol problem with a large proportion of the menfolk... And also, generically, an "attitude" problem towards women that, historically, have been continually subjected to male domination and a subservient social status.

                Then again there are all sorts of other generic problems (such as health-care, social security, old people's care, taxation etc.) with the development of these societies and their attempts to pull themselves up by the bootlaces so as to fall inline with our (supposedly) more advanced and "civilised" societal ethic... This of course is a debatable point - as what "they" see as beneficial, the more enlightened of "us" often observe to be a lack in our own social structures that has developped as a corrollary of our supposedly more "advanced sophistication"... (such as deteriorating family values).

                The bottom line is...

                (a) You will NEVER be totally sure with ANY woman - regaredless of their ethnic origin (and this is most DEFINITELY NOT intended as either a chauvinist or sexist remark!! - but merely a rather open statement of observed fact) - as to what is their absolute BASIC reason for "hooking their chariot to your horses" ... There are many possibilities and they have - as already posted - been in evidence for aeons as part of the man-woman "social contract".

                (b) You absolutely MUST go and see her IN HER OWN ENVIRONMENT... meet the family etc... Meet her friends... SEE how she lives: evaluate her "standards" and "value system" and see if it concords with your own... and if it doesn't, SEE by how much... Whether you may both be able to adapt etc.

                (c) Be absolutely up front with your lifestyle, family, social and financial commitments and lay it down more negativey than positively... How she reacts to the "bad" news will help you evaluate how important YOU are - as opposed to your "wealth" - to her...

                (d) Determine IF there is a way that your intended will be able to support you in your work - or her own - and manage to therefore also make a life for herself so that SHE will feel fulfilled and emancipated - physically and intellectually - should she decide to be with you.

                (e) IF you determine to get married, draw up a Pre-Nuprial Agreement... Most women within Anglo-Saxon communities don't like this idea too much... But in Latin and American societies this is quite acceptable and considered no abnormal.

                (f) DON'T RUSH !!!! Time is a GREAT moderator and will either enforce your interactivity or it will show the "flaws"... Which you may both then, in full knowledge, accept or not in good conscience.

                ... And, sincerely, GOOD LUCK ) They are LOVELY people...

                Best.
                Claude
                majordomo@usa.com
                Best.
                Claude
                majordomo@usa.com

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