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What are my odds for success with the ladies?

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  • What are my odds for success with the ladies?

    Hi

    I'm a 19-year old guy from Sweden. I've heard alot about the Ukrainian women, I've also been involved in some contact-services over the net. It seems the Ukrainian women are crazy about foreginers.

    I'm planning on going to Kiev to check out if things are as great as they seem. I'm tall, blond and I guess I'm not too ugly then again not too good looking.

    Do you think my odds will be good? Going around clothingstores etc. asking the attendants out for dates (usually how I do when I'm abroad). Will women take the initiative themselves? Am I too young for the type of women that are interested in foreginers to approach me? Personally I don't care too much about age.

    Thanks.

  • #2
    I honestly do not know why these types of letters continue to be posted. Surely there is enough reading material on the discussion boards already. It is strange to read of people's impressions that all these Ukrainian ladies love foreigners.
    Just like most places in the world, they like the men that treat them right, with respect and dignity, which I have heard is sometimes lacking amongst the local guys. Sure there are a number of ladies that, due to their economic situation and future prospects, look to find a rich guy from abroad that they can use. But that comes down to use and not love.
    Another thing that seems to jump out of this letter is letter is your impression that they are all easy pick-ups.
    Are you such a loser in your own country that you need to go abroad to score??? Most of the ladies are also real, normal and decent people with real emotions, dreams and most often looking for a bit of substance in a relationship. They are not only wanting to bunk up with any sailor that tries to put their ship to port along their shores. I assume that by your "I don't care too much about their age" you are only after one thing.
    Why not just stay at home and spend the cash you would have used on the holiday on the local brothels. That way, with your attitude, you'll probably "score" a lot more. Better still, go abroad, do your thing, and get back as good as you give... you'll deserve it too.

    Comment


    • #3
      Well

      This is my first day here, and I looked for material to answer my question before I asked it. Didn't find any.

      I see your points and they are valid to some extent.

      Yeah it is hard to find dates in my own country. For an ethnic non-exotic Swedish guy of 19 years with a very limited social life it's pretty darn hard to find a girlfriend. Especially if you have some standards. So I prefer to go abroad. What's wrong with that? Does that bother you somehow? For me it's easier to score when I'm outside of Sweden. It doesn't matter much if it's Japan, Brazil or Spain.

      I guess you'd be an idiot as a guy if you had the resources to go to a country where the women loved you because you're exotic or considered rich, but won't just because of moral. I wish I could join you in your moral crusade and get some insight to that upper world of yours, but I'm sorry, I have a life to live.

      I've never had sex with a prostitute and hopefully never will.

      And I'm sorry about that last part of your post. Didn't quite get it :"and get back as good as you give"?

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey Swede, Steven here is actually giving you some advice, harsh advice but still nonethelesss good advice. so why don't you take it ? but don't take it too much to heart. What he means by 'getting as good as you give' is, I imagine if you use the girl, then she ought to use you, or something like that. At nineteen and having difficulties in making female friends is not nice. why not ask the ladies on these boards about this and ask their views. I'm afraid Sweden and the culture there is not noted for its friendliness. So why not select out some nearby country that is especially noted for its friendliness and go on holiday there, not though to meet its female population per se, but to have a good time, and if you come across a girl who shows some interest in you then take it from there.

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        • #5

          I noted Steven gave me some nice advice about prostitutes. I'm afraid that's not my cup of tea.

          I realize alot of the women that I date would try to take use of me. But that's just part of the game. I certainly don't mind, but I know it's a bit unfair. Since I'm likely to get what I want and she only has a small chance of achieving her objects. But she will know about this when she enters the relation. It's a gamble for her. If she would want me only for my money, it's not like she would have the purest of intentions either.

          And I haven't heard about Sweden being infamous for having unfriendly people. If anything I heard that Swedes are considerd very polite and friendly. It's just that I haven't got the benefit of being exotic here. And it's not easy to pick up on women when you don't have any friends with you in the local disco or pub.

          Of course I have tried less extreme countries like Spain and Italy. And I've had some success there. But it's no where near like going to Brazil or Peru. If I'm going to spend resources on a trip, why don't I do the best to get my money's worth?

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          • #6
            i don't think much of your chances mate - at 19 your are certainly too young for the majority of the women you will see or try to meet- they like the older man some up to 20 or more years older. Most are genuine too and most are very much looking for love and not one night stands etc which i seem to think you are looking for. I have corresponded with a ukranian lady for about 14 months and went to the ukraine to visit her and i found her a very intelligent, beautiful, affectionate and caring women and certainly very much a lady.

            mate if your interested in meeting ukrainian woman treat them well like you would expect to be treated yourself.

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            • #7
              Go for it

              Swede,

              You should go and see for yourself and not listen to the people who want to tell you how to live your life in these regards.
              I have been and seen and will soon be in the CIS this month again. It's great and you should follow your own path with it.

              Good Luck,

              CameoJoe

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              • #8
                So, dear stigharaldsson, prostitutes are not your cup of tea, eh??? What do you call what you are doing then. Throwing your cash around, lavishing a lady with dinners, drinks or gifts looks pretty much the same to me as giving her a handful of cash for a good time. There is no difference as I see it. My advice is for you to grow up a little. Perhaps you are still naive, product of the society you live in??? You talk from a position of someone that has never had to contend with the real hardships in life. These ladies you are planning to win over for a one-night stand are not looking for the childish antics of the likes of you. For them life is more than a game, and every day is fight for survival. Having been to Ukraine for a good number of times myself, I have seen the dire economic situation, and I have also seen some of the lengths people will resort to in order to live. I have travelled to some of the poorest regions and towns and it has been a rewarding experience to see the heart and character of these people. Treat them with respect, not as subhumans that will do anything for a foreigner flashing a handful of dollars around.

                I originally come from a country that has undergone many changes and in many ways resembles the same situation as in Ukraine. Living in Europe for the last 3,5 years, I have seen first-hand that the people in the affluent West have no idea of difficulty and suffering. I do not wish to be a party-pooper, and I hope that you go over there and have a rich and rewarding time as I have each time I go. I have a Ukraininan fiancee, we have been together for quite a long time and will be married this year. I have spent substantial time in her country and it has helped me to understand her that much better. She still sees the western mindset a little strange although she is settling into life here pretty well. These women are indeed beautiful and wonderful people, with remarkable qualities, qualities you will fail to see if you persist with a shallow vision of the world and an all-consuming need for short-term self-gratification. I remember I was 19 too, but I am only 9 years on and still have enough youthful virility left in me. I only offer you advice in the hope that you treat others on the same level as the opinion you hold of yourself. Just because one is less advantaged than you does not mean that they are not your equals on most levels. You are young, go out, have fun, enjoy yourself tremendously, but don't abuse or hurt others in the process. Play open cards and allow those that want to play the same game to join in.

                I am not trying to preach to you from some sort of moral highground, I do not care what you do, as long as no-one is taken advantage of or mislead in any way. Remember this in life and you'll reap the benefits. Remember too, You don't have to go after clothing attendants, but only need to drop in at one of the many nightclubs. Go fulfill your dreams with those that are looking for the same immediate gratification, you'll probably not be disappointed. Happy hunting!!!

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                • #9
                  Just more more thing Swede, where's your manners ? people here have taken the trouble to answer you in the best way they could. So why don't you now surprise us all and show some appreciation...thanks will do !

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    stigharaldsson, you are young and the world is full of opportunity, but I do agree with many of the comments the others have made. Sure go and enjoy yourself, see if you can meet people, see the country, make friends, enjoy a different culture, but if you just go to 'pick up' exotic women, don't complain when you get you fingers burnt because you surely will. I have been to both Brazil and Ukraine. Go to make friends and enjoy yourself, if you meet someone, fine, but don't let that be your motivation. There is too much of this mariage/dating tourism and put yourself in other people's shoes and you would find it pretty offensive if that is your only motivation. Why not try and post to some Ukrainian or Brazilian web sites for friends- perhaps to later exchange visits. You will have someone who knows the area, who can show you around and will be able to tell you all about their country. I made several friends in this way-and I leant a great deal of interest. I found people in both countries very friendly and helpful if they understand an honest desire to know more about their countries and people. I would certainly be very weary of visiting parts of Brazil without someone who knew the area (and there lies one of the advantages of knowing someone there). On my first visit a friend was held up at gun point by a drunk policeman who robbed him, and several of us had to be rushed out of a night club when it was raided by an armed gang- again it was Brazilian friends who got us out of this mess, otherwise I doubt we would have had a clue what to do, and dealing with the Brazilian police is not an experience you would want.
                    No one is saying don't enjoy yourself, but be honest, would you appreciate visitors to your country if their main motivation was to pick up women, and it does show a lack of respect to them, they are people and often living in harsh conditions we do not have to experience. It also gives genuine visitors a bad reputation as people will think that any foreigner is there for only one reason. Do your research, get to know people and don't be afraid to ask questions.You have time on your side so take your time in planning a visit to which ever country you want to go to. You will see here much about scams- it is very easy to be parted with you money. Make it something to remember and hopefully repeat, not something you will regret.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Cameo Joe - Thanks for the encouragment.

                      Ross - I know all about that. But I heard the same about Peru and Brazil before I went there. Yet most of women I dated were around 25-30. So you never know how things turn out in real life.

                      Steven - I would never go around flashing with fancy gifts or dollarbills. That would really be demeaning. If a woman would ask me for some kind of "gift" in return for having been with her, I would turn her down. In fact I allready have.

                      "You shouldn't pull them all over one comb", as we say around here. Meaning that you shouldn't assume all the women are nice ladies with serious intentions. Some of them surely are. But alot are just out for one thing. And if you got a good eye for character, it won't take long before you find out who's who. I think it comes natural to treat other persons in the same manner as they treat you. If she's just out to take advantage of you, then it's ok for you to do the same with her (still maintaining the manners of a gentleman and treating her with respect though). But if she's of a sweet loving character with the desire and potential to get emotionally involved, it would be absurd to take advantage.

                      And it's not like this is a "Rich tourist + Third world starving woman" thing. This goes on in our own Western countries as well. It's not that unusual that a modern liberated Western woman marries someone 25 years older largely because he's wealthy. In the beginning money may work as the initiator (to an otherwise unlikely relation), but pretty soon it will turn out if the chemistry will work and true emotions will aspire.

                      The important thing is that you go open-minded. I wouldn't go to Ukraine thinking only about getting laid. I would leave all doors open, and not rule out anything.

                      John Cullen - Thanks!

                      Jasper - I just recently got home from a 5-month stay in Brazil. You're probably right about the advantage of getting alot of local friends. But I'm just not very social. I like going out with other people at night, but find it hard to socialize during normal daily conditions. I managed pretty well in Brazil alone, probably because I knew alot of Spanish and could adjust that to Portuguese.

                      I don't agree with you that it's offensive to visit a certain country for it's women. Personally I wouldn't get offended if I met a Japanese tourist who told me he came to Sweden for the sexy women. Maybe I would be if he told me he thought about leaving for England or something because the Swedish girls are so darn ugly. I do understand that the pure sex-tourism as the one to Thailand might be offensive, but that's about "paying for sex" and pretty different.

                      In Brazil I had alot of girlfriends. But I also met a very very special woman who I fel madly in love with. I was with her for four months. And it was she who left me. I agree the Brazilian police shouldn't be messed with, I saw a group of Military Policemem kicking a guy in the stomach several times when he was lying down without moving.

                      Btw, in which country did the women have the most positive attitude towards you? In Brazil or Ukraine?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Brazil !

                        Hi Mr Stigharaldsson- 5 months in Brazil and you came back ! I’d have stayed !
                        I first visited (Rio, Sao Paulo mainly) when I was your age and made a lot of friends I still write and visit 16 years later. A wonderful country. Where did you stay when you were there ?
                        Regards comparing Brazil and Ukraine, I am not really qualified to judge having only been to the Ukraine once. I was visiting a girl I had been writing to for about 9 months, but it didn’t really work out between us, although I saw something of Kiev (and to arrive on Independence day with all it celebrations was something !) she wasn’t really that interested in the city- except for the shops- so I didn’t get to see anything like as much as I had hoped. Chalk it up to experience I suppose. I did meet an interesting Ukrainian guy on this site who sent me a lot of excellent web sites on Ukraine and this sparked my interest once again. Through one of these sites I made a pen friend with a woman who teaches English at one of the Universities. Her help in learning Russian and learning more about the country is invaluable. She is coming to the UK this summer for course here, so we plan to meet, and I hope to visit Ukraine again quite soon. My advice about trying to make some pen friends before you go is based on this experience as I have learnt far more about the country this way and will be much better prepared for my next visit. To compare Brazil and Ukraine- difficult for the reasons I have just given, my experience is limited and coloured by what happened to me. I would say that Ukrainians do appear a bit weary and ‘stand offish’ at first, but I found them warm and friendly once they got to know you, and the people I met had a great sense of humour. Most Brazilians I found were very forward and friendly from the beginning as you probably experienced yourself. In a strange way I found the countries similar in some respects- a strong sense of family and friends and a rather stoical view of the world.
                        I am sure you will enjoy your visit to Ukraine and the more effort you put in at the start, the more you will get in return, but see if you can make some pen friends first, but there is a lot of good advice on this site too. If you want to share your experiences about Brazil drop me an email, I like to know more about what you made of your time there…shame there is no brazil.com. Enjoy Ukraine !

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Jasper,

                          I visited places like Rio, Belo Horizonte and Recife sporadically. But I spent most of the time, about 4 ˝ months in Salvador. There's where I met my great love. I didn't like the place too much at first (I was spoiled from having been in Peru). And was on my way embark on a route out of Brazil when I met "her".

                          As a newcomer I found it pretty hard to get girlfriends in Brazil. Alot of the women were arrogant, and they didn't find the gringo-look that attractive. But after some time I learned how to go about it, the secret words were "clothing attendants".

                          My most adventerous time in Brazil was the first few weeks when I travelled around on my own. I saw and experienced alot of things. And when I settled down in Salvador, I set out for a quiet but more volatile journey within. It's a time very hard to talk about. Because it involves feelings, emotions and experiences that doesn't have words and can't really be understood from an objective perspective.

                          Thanks for the reply.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Everything is a bit different, Swede. If you will come here to pester clothingstores attendants, in downtown, you will probably learn some vocabulary of russian profanities, all girls are someone's wives or girl friends. Don't forget stores mostly belong to some mafia clans, where owners kinda bandits and environment in those stores not a very friendly. Even if you coming to spend money and buy something in those stores, you always feel discomfort and believe me, my friend, you won't utter a word when 2 meters knockout gives you an evil look from the dark corner.... You will have more chances for three days romance if you will travel in some ****hole like Krizhopol or Zmerinka, but if you will travel there with no company, with no friends, then you will feel like an alien and I'm afraid that local outlaws will notice you first. Ukraine is a dangerous place for Romeos, try Chech republic, which is safe country with plenty of Ukrainian girls
                            alyona

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Good on ya!!!

                              Way to go Alyona,

                              Talk some sense into the lad!!!

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