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Ukrainian men possessive?

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  • Ukrainian men possessive?

    Hello. Was wondering if anyone could help me in my situation? I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I just found out last week (from his mother) that his father is Ukrainian. He told me he was Italian and German. I don't know why he would lie about his nationality? Would've made my 2 years with him make more sense. Always wondered why he wanted me to dress like a sex pot and wear heels and stockings. It's not me..but iv adapted. But my question is why does he seclude me from all my friends and family? He has 2 Facebook accounts and friends hot girls that he doesn't even know. Do UK men have to have more than one girl to look at? UK men do have stanima in bed...think that's why I put up with a lot of crap. But he lies and sneaks around with his phone. Iv seen many slutty pictures of other girls on his phone. Are UK men sex addicts to the point where it doesn't matter if I'm in the next room waiting for him but he'd rather pleasure himself in the bathroom to other girls pics...why? Iv done everything this man has asked, I bend over backwards for him, greet him at door with kiss and make sure his work clothes are done and dinner is ready. My world revolves around his schedule. I'm just a country German girl that likes to socialize but can't cuz I'd get accused of something stupid. I don't give him a reason to doubt me, he keeps me like prisoner in my home. I'm only allowed to dress smokin hot when I'm with him, like a trophy. He is very rude but puts on a good show in public. He fits the description as a narsassist and then again as a master muniplitater and then I find out he's Ukrainian. He is insecure and has issues. Did I fall in love with the devil or is this normal for UK men? I contantly get asked what did you do today?talk to anyone? Face times me on I phone to see where I am and what I'm wearing. But if I ask that to him, sometimes he flips out. He has his phone attached to his hip and won't leave it near me. Why so shady? Obviously he's hiding something but I think he's loyal? I know he's a hard worker, he's foreman for construction company...that's where I met him I also work in construction as a laborer but not for same company. Dress like a guy for work and strap on heels on the weekends looking like a VS model for him. I miss country line dancing and visiting my friends. Any advice would help. Trying to understand this nationality, like I said just found out last week he had lied to me so need input how UK men and women are?

  • #2
    Heritage or nationality has nothing to do with his traits. He is what he is.

    Deal with it or move on. You're not going to change him.

    Look for a nice guy and stop being thrilled with the bad boys image.


    Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

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    • #3
      But he can be very loving but NOT understanding. I love the fact that he is very hard working and knowledgable and he gives me a lot of attention sometimes too much but when it comes to getting emotionally involved he distances himself. Maybe afraid to get too close? Sex is great but I do all the work and he can be very rude at times but won't get romantic. That's not a UK thing is it? They love and protect their women and that's it? Just trying to understand how UK men are wired that's all. Just trying to get different perspectives on people's relationships with UK men and how to deal with this one. Maybe I'm just a stepping stone or will he go to counseling? Hmmm?

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      • #4
        I think Mike explained it perfectly and it has nothing to do with him being either British or having Ukrainian herritage.

        My personal thought, the fact that your world revolves around him causes him to do more harm to you. He just doesn't care and you do and he loves that part about it. Stop caring and move on. I get the sense that you're willing to stay with him if you're convinced this is normal for all men from the UK, and there is no such thing, everyone is different.



        See whats been posted in the past day.


        Contact forum moderators here.

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        • #5
          First of all, and the most important, what I will write below should not be considered negative nor positive. It is simply neutral and doesn't have to strictly concern that topic.

          Saying that nationality doesn't interface with personal traits is not definitely accurate. Or, to be more precise, not nationality but being brought up in particular cultural field defines our character features and how we behave, how we live, what we think about some topics (mostly controversial, like religion, politics or sexuality). Same goes with attitude toward relationships, marriage etc.

          Why that happens? In the past people who lived in particular kulturkreises had not much choice - they lived as rulers said, as their beliefs said and as the interpretors of their "holy books" said. In European Catholic countries we had Inquisition with their "Malleus Maleficarum", who burned people alive, tortured them etc. What could have a common non-Catholic think about someone who came from Spain? Well, probably very religious guy. Today it is a bit different, but "a bit" only because we have an illusion of freedom. Information we get are quite similar to information our ancestors had - only one-sided. What forms our behaviour and way of living is called "media". We see on TV how we should live. We see other people, who are liked, and we want to be like them. But in different parts of the world different people are shown as authority figures. We are in better position than our ancestors, however. We still have a choice - to live as others (for example in Poland be a Roman Catholic, but anticlerical, complain on everything, say "kurwa" thrice in a sentence), or live as yourself, not as a copy of someone. We can search for different information, avoid TV. Unfortunately, people are mostly stuffed with some images and want to follow.

          There is also a tradition. Also stereotypes, which are false only in ~90%, but still 10% is a bit of truth. There are many things that make people different and are creating a culture. For example, I've noticed (and many people from other parts of the world) that Poles are more distant from other nationalities. We are a bit gloomy and perceived as sad people who like to complain, while other nations are more open. And this is actually very similiar to the problem mentioned in this topic - some character features are general for the nation. Obviously, not everyone is the same, however I am talking about majorities.

          If someone is brought up in one cultural circle, she/he will mostly probably follow all these images as they were a part of people's personality. And still are. If we see something in Germany and then go to e.g. Moldova, we will see that there are different ways of thinking and ways of living. Different rules, different traditions.

          Conclusion: where we were brought up influences our behaviour.

          However, on topic 100%, I cannot say how Ukrainian men are perceiving such stuff as relationship, but all those who I met are rather positive. In case of relationship most important than cultural circle is how we were brought up as human beings, not as people of some nations. Also our personal observations, afterthoughts... nationality is less important here, so there is no one rule.

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          • #6
            Thank you for your inputs. That's my problem, I have a huge heart and he took advantage of it so it seems. He's charming and total opposite of my ex. My friends loved him at first and then he found a way to dislike them cuz they didn't praise him like he's some kind of God or something. I really think I'm dealing with a narsassist and master muniplitater. Says he loves me constantly but if I have a problem or opinion of something he's doing wrong than he calls me the worst names In the book. Maybe I need counseling for all the mental abuse. Lol I just didn't know if this is normal for UK men cuz Iv read about their stereotypes from a woman on this forem and he fits everything except the smoking he doesn't smoke and he loves his tequila sometimes. He said his 2 biggest downfalls were woman and tequila. Maybe he's a insecure gigalo? Fits that description too. Wow. I found someone with all the wrong signs but am attached to him for some reason? Hmmm well guess this is a tough one. Don't know if I'm the only girl out there in the world to experience this kind of person but knowing his nationality from the beginning wouldn't of made me think I was the crazy psycho that he says I am. Went from my ex that didn't work to one that works very hard and is a turn on for most women here in the U.S. Lol go figure.

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            • #7
              He sounds like my American Ex. From my experience with this personality type, your needs will never come before his desires, his wants are first priority regardless of how it makes you feel, and this keeping you isolated and feeling "less than" is a way to control you and keep you dependent on him.

              My Ukrainian fiance is the complete opposite, and that's why I fell in love with him. So there are "bad" and "good" men everywhere.

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              • #8
                Well that's good to know I'm not the only one. I fell head over heels for him in the beginning. He was charming, considerate,had passion in bed and was fun,exciting,adventurous..he got comfortable moved himself in my home and took over my life pretty much. Caught him on his old dating websites after a year of being together..I packed up everything he had and took it to his mothers, bad move on my part but I can't talk to him cuz he'd only yell,scream,call me dumb, the "C" word,etc muniplitate me and turn the table. That was only way I knew how to deal with it. After a week of crying I moved him back in, my friends said that was a huge mistake! Lately iv seen pictures on his old phone of girls and he types in names of girls he either has met or friended on Facebook in his notes under his work hours...sneaky and there was a picture that him and I took with my beautiful girlfriend but he cropped me out of the picture. What the hell would you think of that? Creepy? Shady? I'm beginning to think I'm just here to pad his bank account cuz he pays half for bills (first 8 months he didn't pay nothing) and I take care of him and make him look good. He can be loving but degrading and disrespectful but covers it up with major kissing ass. Makes me feel like I'm not good enough. We can't go nowhere without him checking out another girl, went to dinner one time and a waitress was bending over table to clean it and they have to wear stockings and skirts ( Italian restaurant) and he took a double look , when I'm sitting across from him! So rude and disrespectful I thought. Think he gets a kick out of getting me jealous to make him feel superior cuz he's insecure. He's a chubby Italian/UK man that I thought could change my life for the better. Turns out he has brain washed me into being all about him. Hard to break free from the cycle but it hope I can figure out a way. I'm beginning to to see the real him and can't trust him. I don't even know who he is, he keeps llieing about a lot of things. Good to know not all UK men are like this one. I like the fact that their hardworking and loyal and great in bed 😜

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                • #9
                  peanut gallery here...

                  Notwithstanding his ethnicity, you are hooked up w/a emotionally cruel and manipulative misogynist, who intermittently treats you either like a cow or a horse. If you enjoy this toxic relationship, have no self-esteem and don't think you deserve better, just keep on rationalizing why you are w/him. If not, take back your own power and don't walk, RUN!
                  Last edited by Hannia; 8th May 2015, 00:21.

                  æ, !

                  Hannia - Hania - Mighthelp

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Hannia View Post
                    peanut gallery here...

                    Notwithstanding his ethnicity, you are hooked up w/a emotionally cruel and manipulative misogynist, who intermittently treats you either like a cow or a horse. If you enjoy this toxic relationship, have no self-esteem and don't think you deserve better, just keep on rationalizing why you are w/him. If not, take back your own power and don't walk, RUN!
                    I second this... RUN!

                    Also you might want to look up co-dependency, as staying in a toxic relationship is a symptom of that.

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                    • #11
                      Well that's another name iv never heard of before, misogynist, wow fits him perfectly too, along with narsassist , their kind of the same thing! Only difference is he always pays for dinner but will throw it in my face later in a fight about something stupid. Always says " I put you on a pedalstal, and take care of you" and so on. Aliways has to act like he's on a high horse kick and talk like he's some kind of God or something and expects people to bow down to him. This relationship is toxic and I'm trying to find the courage to leave, but it's been hard. I will catch him doing something wrong and that will be my way out. If I could get to his phone that will tell me everything. But he has his emails locked, which is weird for I phone, but he knows I know the passcode to his phone but won't give me the chance to be alone with itt......MIND GAMES!,,,Pretty sad. Have to investigate my own boyfriend. Thank you again for your advice....wow iv never knew these kinds of people existed thanks to you I do know now.

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                      • #12
                        Just pack you bags and leave before it gets bad. Yes it can and will get much worse if you stay.
                        Go to some place or someone that he doesn't know of and never make contact with your old life again until you form a backbone.


                        Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Well this information has helped out tremendously!!!!! Thank you for all the help. Never knew anything about codependency and misogynist. I REALLY do believe he is misogynist and it's mind blowing that I'm not crazy and not the only person who is experiencing this kind be of person. Hard part is that he lives with me in my home (still hasn't forwarded his mail here) and he does work for my company I work for so I will see him time to time on jobs. So contact will be hard to avoid. Hard to find my backbone that he has barried along with everything else. But one can only take so much crap before they snap, hope that time comes soon.

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                          • #14
                            This boyfriend of yours is not responsible for the psychological soup you're in. He is not at fault in any way. He is just doing what comes naturally to jerks like him.

                            The best thing you can do for yourself is ask him to leave. If he doesn't, get an order of protection and wave goodbye.




                            Last edited by Hannia; 13th May 2015, 20:42.

                            æ, !

                            Hannia - Hania - Mighthelp

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I can't talk to him... You kidding me?!? I am sleeping with the enemy and his misogynist side of jeckle and Hyde comes and goes. He's always right my opinion means nothing to him. I'm just here to do his laundry,cook,clean,pleasure him when his hand gets boring. I have no life and the more I read about his mental state the more I wana see counseling for myself. This bastard has muniplitated me and I don't know who I am anymore. Want to get revenge and staple a sign to his forehead saying" I'm a narsassistic misogynist"! I want to warn girls about guys like him. He makes my ex look like a saint! They say not to change the way I act toward him if I'm planning to leave... So wtf do I do? So lost and scared. Hel twist this around to make me look like the bad one. Ugh!

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