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  • Question about Ukrainian men

    Hello. I'm new to this website.

    I have a question regarding Ukrainian men. There is a man from Ukraine that seems to really like me. He approached me online about a year ago of which..I was polite, but didn't give him much response. Within the past couple of months he approached me again. He seems to be very keen on me and we have communicated online, via email, and a little via phone and text messaging.

    He wants me to come visit him in Ukraine and stay with him at his parents' house. He says that he would like to have a serious relationship with me and start a family together. He said that I could also invite him to visit me if I wish...but he's been pushing for me to give him a date for coming to Ukraine.

    Now...here's the thing.. He's a little over 10 years younger than me. He's only 27 years old and he's a doctor..(I've seen the pictures of him at work..so it's true). . I was rather direct with him and asked him if he was looking for a visa to the UK (where I reside when not traveling). He got a little upset, but then calmed down and said it was normal that I'd want to protect myself. He told me he has relatives in the UK, so if he wanted a visa he would just get their help.

    I'm a bit confused because at the time that he first wrote to me a year ago, he had asked me if he could come visit me in Scotland and asked about my house ..how many rooms it had. That made me suspicious.

    At the same time...he comes across in communicating like he really really likes me. He says that we could live in Ukraine if I like it..but he could just be saying that thinking that I might not like it. He says that the age difference doesn't matter to him at all. I asked him with so many beautiful girls in Ukraine..why did he choose me? He says that when he saw me..his heart had to work twice as fast and that his soul and body like a magnet was drawn to me and he has to be with me. He thinks I'm beautiful with a good heart and would be a good mother....

    Two of my grandfathers came from Ukraine..so it is a place that I'd like to visit.

    I really like hi,m but I don't want to get hurt in this... before I open up to him more and actually go visit him in Ukraine....should I be concerned? I mean is this a typical scam that a young guy in Ukraine might pull to leave the country? I'm not sure what to think.

    I give many thanks to anyone that can help me with my question.

    Kindest regards...

  • #2
    Excuse my skepticism, but I would advise you to proceed with caution. I spend as much time in Ukraine as I can, and I am aware of the high number of Ukrainian females trying to find men from the west, bent on gaining an exit from Ukraine. I see no reason why the same theory cannot be applied to males. Statistically there is a high divorce rate among couples where a partner originated from former Soviet countries.

    If you look through the personals section of this forum, you should find previous advice from myself and other contributors advising on the difficulties of getting fiancees or even spouses back to countries like the USA and the UK. I'm British and I was refused an entry visa for a lady who was my fiancee at that time. I know of other younger, more professional and better established Brits than myself who have also been refused visas for their loved ones.

    By all means come to Ukraine, it has so much to offer except good employment prospects and high wages. I am retired and do not depend on Ukraine for my income. I also have a long lasting experience of Eastern Europe going back to the communist era, so for me life is much better here than it was before. However, if you have a narrower travel and life experience, you might find Ukraine somewhat different to your norm.
    Last edited by Gotno Gizmo; 5th November 2012, 23:23. Reason: Typo error

    Comment


    • #3
      Look these over and don't stray from these rules!

      The Ten Commandments


      1.Never send money to someone you have never met.

      2.Always have a back-up plan

      3.Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.

      4.Always get the lady's/man's home address and home phone number as early as possible.

      5.Verify the ladies/men you are writing to are real.

      6.Do not fall in love with photos!!

      7.Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.

      8.Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.

      9.Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

      10.THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE/GROOM! They do not exist.


      Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        That said, keep it very casual and go to see the country.
        It's a great country full of wonderful folks.Ton's of stuff to see and do.
        If something happens to work out GREAT. If not you've managed to see a part of the world that has been on your list for some time. If you have information about your grandfolks ,visit their town/village and possibly meet some reletives.


        Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Hello Gizmo...

          Thank you very much for your reply. I have been slightly skeptical, but I've been thinking also that it would be a shame if he turns out to be a really nice man that is rare to find. Many years ago there was a wonderful Colombian guy madly in love with me and I made the mistake of thinking he wanted a visa and it turned out not to be the case at all. The Colombian and I met in person by accident one day and he was a couple of years older than me. However, this young Ukrainnian is so much younger and we met online..so..I'm being really careful. He did say that he has relatives in the UK that could help him with a visa if that's what he was after. However, I have no idea if he tried that route and it failed and didn't tell me.. Maybe he is very genuine.. I don't know..It's hard to tell. That's the problem.

          Why is it so hard to bring your fiancee back to the UK or even US? What happens if you were to marry in Ukraine first? Would that help?

          Thank you again for your reply.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hello AkMike . Thank you for your reply.

            I understand the valid points you list and they are very good points. However, I didn't meet him through a marriage agency. It was a free dating website where I only signed up out of curiosity and wasn't really even looking for anything nor a Ukrainian man in particular. It just happened. He found me. I was polite to him, but kind of gave him the brush off at first ..but he was persistant. I have been with someone else, but the relationship was not going the way that I have hoped, so was on the website out of pure curiosity of what is out there.. I told him that I had somebody else..and but he kept asking me to give him a chance. So.. here we are..

            So..I have never fallen in love with a photo..If anything..he fell in love with mine. We have been communicating via email, text messaging and speaking via telephone. He has sent me videos of himself and family members as well as photos including him at work..he sends me music. So..that's what's confusing as he comes across as really genuine..but due to age difference.. I'm unsure... and he had made a comment about maybe being out of Ukraine months back. ..but then he says if I were happy to live in Ukraine with him..that's fine and he just wants peace and harmony.. If he were scamming..why would he be pressing me so much to be with him and start a family? However..it could be a con..

            I'm confused... I have moments of belief and moments of doubt.. He does come across as really genuine and caring. So.. I don't know.. It could be that he had first thought about looking for a way out of Ukraine..but found me and really does like me regardless.. He does have relatives in UK to help him he said.. so I don't know.. I'm scratching my head on this one.
            So..thank you vey much for your reply.

            Comment


            • #7
              The only way to find out is to go there and meet face to face. You've got Wiz Air for some cheap seats to Kyiv and other cities.
              Just do it and quit wondering "What If?"


              Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Seagirl asked "Why is it so hard to bring your fiancee back to the UK or even US? What happens if you were to marry in Ukraine first? Would that help?"
                I believe marriage with a Ukrainian and a foreigner is not a quick or easy affair. It requires much presenting of documentation (more if any children are involved), document interpretation and authentication by notaries and a passage of time. This requires several weeks in Ukraine or journeys to and from. Once you are married you must start again the visa application to the UK authorities.

                Common reasons for refusal, if the couple have not actually spent several months together: "The relationship is not well enough established". Disparities in age - pointing to the possibility of a marriage of convenience or visa seeking matter. Question about the sponsors ability to support the spouse within the UK (the foreign spouse may not seek employment for the first 6 months), and the sponsor must demonstrate a healthy bank account and legal income. Evidence of suitable housing (preferred evidence of long term and permanent occupancy, not sharing with others etc). The foreign spouse is definitely blighted if they have previously sought and was refused an entry visa as an individual within Britain or another EU country.

                I am not unsympathetic to your emotions, but have lost one love affair resulting from British visa refusal, and have given up on the possibility that I could ever take my Ukrainian (second foreign romance) lady to Britain.
                In western Ukraine you will see migrating storks nesting on the top of telegraph poles and similar structures. It gives rise to a line from a poem I once wrote: "Storks glide above the trees, how wonderful to have no need of documents to pass these menacing political boundaries". Politics screws up peoples lives big time!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Immigration happens all the time. I brought my wife intom the US w/o any major effort other than the 6 months to process the paperwork. Same for guys in the UK.

                  BUT you're getting way ahead of yourself thinking about marriage this early in the game. See if you even like the guy first.


                  Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Visa's are getting harder

                    AkMike says,

                    "Immigration happens all the time. I brought my wife into the US w/o any major effort other than the 6 months to process the paperwork. Same for guys in the UK".

                    How long ago was it you got your wife into the USA? Since the world recession, many countries are clamping down on spousal entry, especially the UK. I'm British, and the detailed advice I give on this matter should not be taken with a piece of salt. Do you imagine that I just make this stuff up as I go along?
                    Aren't you the same guy that was complaining how difficult it was to get a tourist visit visa for one of your family into the USA not so long ago!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm the one!
                      On a different forum with several Brits I'm repeating what they say.
                      I did my paperwork about 8 years ago this January. the times and difficulties haven't changed hardy at all for this end,

                      Many factors are taken into consideration for this including age, personal economic factors. ect.

                      GG, I don't know any of your stuff to presume to try to second guess.


                      Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hello Gizmo... Thank you very much for your reply to my quesiton regarding the difficulty in bringing a Ukrainian spouse to the UK. I apologise for taking so long to answer. I had my laptop in shop after experiencing many problems!

                        So, if I were to bring in a Ukrainian husband even if married in the Ukraine, I will need to support him for a certain amount of time? He is a surgeon in Ukraine..can he not come into the UK working as a doctor? He already has relatives in the UK.. Can they not sponsor him or help him get the needed aproval to aid his entry better than maybe myself? I'm wondering if marrying in Ukraine or the UK is better??

                        Otherwise, it looks like I could be spending a fair amount of time in Ukraine!!

                        Are the authorities just somewhat prejudice against Ukrainians, Russians and other eastern europeans coming in?? There are so many Polish working in the UK that it doesn't seem fair.
                        I'm a dual UK and US citizen, so am wondering if US would be easier for his entry?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hello AkMike... I agree with you.. only I don't have access to Wiz Air where I am at the moment. I'm spending my winter in the Caribbean! He is in a small town outside of Kharkov.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Before you jump in with both feet test the waters and visit. There are planes that fly there even from the tropics of the Caribbean.
                            LOL,they even fly from the arctics of Alaska. I'll be there soon!


                            Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              On my case, I was just looking for a vacation and someone to can enjoy the period I be on Ukraine - my boyfriend that meet on internet.
                              And only had headaches here. His family dont like me because they expected other character such someone that know to cook. lol
                              He bothered for 2 years to meet me and is it what I deserve?
                              Honestly, will enjoy a little more and will go back to live with my parents.
                              I changed idea now. Do not want a relationship anymore. This mess up with my life.

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