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  • Age difference between men and women

    Hi,
    I have been to the Ukraine twice this summer after joining some dating sites that highlight Ukrainian women. I am suspicious of the apparent willingness of women half my age to date and maybe marry someday. I am 50 and I am receiving requests from lots of women around 24-27 years old. Can someone who is familiar with Ukrainain women and their relatiohship values comment this subject? I am concerned that it may be more of a "fun thing" for a 25 year old to be entertained and receive lots of attention, by someone like me. I am seeking the love of my life to marry.
    Regards,
    Tim

  • #2
    Be careful !

    The published life expectancy from many sources for Ukranian males is put at 62 years of age. I'm aware that many Ukrainian women find themselves widows as young as 45. High alcohol consumption, heavy smoking and poor industrial work environments have been contributory factors over recent years. It follows therefore that women here have a greater preparedness to accept an older man, particularly if he is a clean living, non driking man with secure income. However, I believe that young attractive Ukrainian women looking for a man twice her age may well be motivated primarily with the prospect of access to greater wealth and /or a visa enrty to a percieved more attractive country, rather than looking genuinely for a future husband who will be the father of her children.
    I would suggest you confine your search to a lady of not more than 15 years younger than yourself. But their are many fine ladies available.
    Good luck!

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you Gotno

      Hi Gotno,

      I observed the very things you mentioned about the men when I was in the Ukraine last summer. I also talked to quite a few people and got the impression that women are open to an older man if he is in shape, healthy, non-smoking, etc. I am not bothered by a woman wanting to upgrade her lifestyle, chances in life and so on. Don't we all? I am more concerned that there being genuine attraction, genuine love, etc. You are right there are many beautiful women in that region.

      Regards,
      Tim

      Comment


      • #4
        Tim, if you really want to find someone serious and get married do not look for so young women. to have fun with them yes you are welcome but something serious i do not think it will work out.
        try age groupe 35-42 y.o.
        Vasyl
        interpreter, guide, travel assistant all over Ukraine.
        www.ace-interpreter.com

        Comment


        • #5
          I happened to find an attractive Ukrainian woman who was nearly half my age and we have been living together happily for six years now. I realized when we first got together that her feelings for me might not be sincere; might not last; might not even be there but I took the chance to, at the very least, spend some intimate time with a beautiful woman. We are married now and have twins. This is turning out to be a happy story and I am well aware that many such situations turn out differently. If things hadn't worked out in this relationship, I would have tried again. And again. There are probably practical reasons why young women allow themselves to be courted by older men, but, then again, love is love and you may find it lurking in odd places. Good luck

          Comment


          • #6
            Tim, first the hopefully objectiveand insightful lecture from experience;

            1 Never lose sight of the fact that women of any nationality, seeking men from another country are mostly those from a poorer country seeking a man from a wealthier country. Just keep that one in the back of your mind at all times because it can help you to question and understand their motives / objectives.

            2 There are various reasons that motivate them to do this, some good and some bad. Your own ability to recognise sincerity is helpful, and avoiding a situation where the motive is simply extortion is the most important advice. This can be a very grey area, in the worst case a few may be motivated to 'get money' without any intention of a long term commitment, they will take what they can and run. A few may be motivated by a need to help their family - noble in it's own way and if that person is also sincere, and the prospective husband has the ability to help, it can work.

            3 The most important thing is that the monetary issues, although they are usually there, should be secondary, and the sincerity of the girl and her intention to fall in love and make a commitment is all important. The problem here is how to recognise that and how to be sure, this is very difficult to do without spending a significant amount of time together and with her family. Across the internet only works if there is plenty of video conferencing including family, but it has to be followed up by time with the girl and family to remove any uncertainty / risk from the situation.

            4 Any broker or dating site has to have good credentials and a clearly displayed commitment to avoid it's customer's being scammed, so that you feel that you can trust them, and their prospective clients.

            5 All the above is important because it helps avoid making a mistake, as this is your future life, it is critical that you do not take a big risk with the consequences it can bring. So the best advice is - don't fall in love until you are sure it is safe to do so

            6 Age difference is not the biggest issue, but maturity and goals are, you may not get on with someone half your age, as she is more likely to be less mature, mentally / philosophically I mean, there has to be a meeting of minds and the ability to see eye to eye and to communicate well. If you are from different cultures, a lot of eye to eye communication is necessary to 'understand' each other, language difficulties in both directions can also promote misunderstandings - you have to be able to deal with that rationally. It's worth saying that in a lot of cases, their perception is that older men are more stable, loving, reliable and loyal, and that is generally true, and the distrust / risk with men of their own age is the motivation in looking for an older partner.

            7 Despite the sometimes gloomy picture painted, that applies to a minority, there are lots and lots of sincere ladies out there, and treating the above as good advice, and trusting that you can achieve a loving and permanent relationship in this way is key, as long as you do not get overwhelmed or fall in love with the visually attractive woman before knowing what is under the skin (beauty is skin deep as they say). It is also good to do a little self examination and ask not only whether she will be good for you, but whether you will be good for her.

            ok lecture over; my credentials, in the first point I said 'any nationality', as although there are cultural differences, people are the same the world over, I am married to a beautiful and sincere Thai lady who is 17 years younger, I am 59, she is 42 and we have been happily married for 6 years. We send a little money to help her mother (father died) and also to my father's family in Ukraine. I was divorced, lived in Thailand long enough to speak and write the language, so I had a head start in knowing the people, culture and how to recognise sincerity in a person of a different nationality / culture. The difference will not be so great for you so that will help, so take care and good luck.

            Comment


            • #7
              I totally agree with Wolodymyr

              Wolodymyr,
              First class advice, it was a pleasure to read the previous post and I cannot agree more with your sentiments.
              Gotno

              Comment


              • #8
                Fascinating reading all your posts. in fact I am a British woman, late 40's, a little crazy about a Ukrainian of 32 (he lives there, I now live in London). I think your comments and advice apply equally to the opposite male/female situation.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I too totally agee with above advice. It has opened my eyes, I shall take care. After all we must be care full in our every step of life.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I've been cooresponding with a woman a lot younger then me for about 7 months. She is 26 and I am 60. I realize that is a HUGE age difference. Per her suggestion we should have a pre-nup since she is not after my money. She sounds/acts very mature for her age and she admitted she wants to leave the Ukraine for a better life. I can't blame her for that. I would want the same thing. She is gainfully employed in the Ukraine and wants to work in the USA once she arrives. We have exchanged a lot of information and I believe she is sincere. I asked very direct questions and she has responded with her own opinions. We don't agree on everything, meaning she isn't saying yes to everything I ask just to relocate to the USA. I hope one day that we are married and I will keep all posted.

                    I have a friend in the USA that married a woman from the Ukraine 5 years ago. He is 54 and she is now 29 and they are expecting their first child in 3 months. So far everything is working out fine for them. She was a nurse in the Ukraine and went back to nursing school here in the USA for 2 years and is a nurse in a hospital here. So it can work. Make sure you do your due dilligence and exchange a lot of information before traveling half way around the world to meet her.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You have 3 major considerations;
                      1. Age difference. (you'll be VERY set in your ways as I am, so you MUST be prepared to bend your own rules. As the male you'll be expected to do so)

                      2. Culture shock will grip you. Ukraine is an extremely old country & not long released from the grip of communism. Even if your lady lives in USA she will also suffer.

                      Be prepared to come see how the other half live & meet a few people & get to know something about the country. VERY important.

                      I came here from Australia & had 5 trips meeting different people & making friends of (my now) wifes' friends before I decided to plant myself here a year ago. Our age difference is 45 & 69 & I learn something new every day.... including how to bend MY rules! BTW it's "Ukraine" not - the Ukraine

                      Good luck!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Nomadic57

                        I have personally met up to 14 ladies in person over the last three years as I have been in Ukraine 4 times
                        I have met ladies aged 21 all the way up to 40 years old , My age being 44 when i first started and now i am 47 Truthfully at first i was cautious , But Some of the Younger ones seemed real enough , There was always a Non Trust factor at first , that lasted only about the 3rd or fourth date with most ladies, hell One girl had me hold her handbag when she went to the ( Potty) restroom, So usually they started to trust you more once they saw you are a gentleman, I truthfully can say i had more attitude from the Older ladies than i did the younger ones especially if I didn,t do what they wanted , they seem a alot more cautious too , i guess they have more of a trust issue due to real life experience , But its hey there loss... not mine

                        So if age is a concern , dont sweat it.. They do seem very serious .yes they all seem to give the same answer as they want security and stability in a man , and one question i always like to ask a girl "how does there family feel about them meeting such a older man" ... " my family wants me to be happy" it always seemed like the same old programmed answer, THIS IS THE SAME ANSWER FROM 8 LADIES!!!!!!! very strange wouldnt you say.. that always started to send up a flag in my mind ... But another Question is one i liked to ask, such as When i would ask a Translator , about the girl you were meeting with , Like " Does she say anything about me or does she really like me ..etc , The the response was always , She is not my friend , i just work as translator for her,,, STRANGE!!!!!!, especially when they act friendly with each other...

                        So Yes It is only natural for these ladies to seek a better life , especially if they are a single mother with a child , So Yes i agree , But some of them don't really appreciate what we have to spend and make the effort to come and see them , l Only feel that really irritates me about some of the Younger ones..

                        In the beginning i met a lady online with the very popular agency , I wont say there name , Well I eventually made the trip to see her, This lady really made a big impression on me while I was there, because she cooked for me almost every day , she made sure i was always comfortable , She was even upset at me one day as to my safety because i left the apartment , because one day her and the translator were late arriving , By Two hours , so i went for a walk around the city of Nikolaev , I mean she really was genuine upset , i had to seriously kiss ass ..LOL , but one factor was her Unwillingness to leave her family when we became serious and decide to start our life together, I explained this was the Overall goal for her , i was willing to give her more time , But under the advice of a friend who was clueless as to what Ukraine ladies are really like , told me to tell her , me or her family ... yeah that worked!!!! that was a True Heart breaker... i really liked her too...

                        Regardless of age The truth is if you can get them off the dating site , Because if its costing you money to correspond , then do so and set them up in Email , Skype , Messenger , ICQ , what ever is available to you then do it!!!!!! Its worth developing your relationship You will develop your communication tenfold, But if they reject it then they were never serious and the agency was paying them to chat and write replies ....as many of them do... Remember..." THERE ARE SCAMMERS EVEN AT THE LEGIT SITES !!!!! THIS IS A FACT!!!!! "

                        Well All I can say is dont give up and dont fall in love until you know there real at least until you meet in person, i speak from experience!!! ...It will save you a lot of heart ache guys ... this is only the truth

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Interesting topic, and I would add one more advice : if your have correspondence with a woman from Ukraine by email, just google her email address, if you see some pages about scams, stop immediately and report it to the dating site you are in.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Ronaldinho
                            Hello
                            I agree that it is risky when you search or start a relationship with a lady with whom the age difference is too high. I tried it one time and I paid the price for it. If she is much younger and especially when she wants to get out from a bad situation, then her motives for choosing a much older man could be wrong. I wrote an article about age differences between a man and a woman, it is too long to place it here, you can read all about it if you go to my website Blog - Dating Women Ukraine
                            Good luck on the road of love, Ronald
                            You make all kinds of assumptions about age that are probably not valid. I can give you examples.

                            Lets take an age difference that is between 0-2 years. You are 27 she is 30 Your response will be no problem they are the same age. Yes but your answer will be likely wrong if haven't factored in what is more important than age. That is what stage of life are you in.

                            Lets give the rest of the story. He is single, never married no kids 27 She is 30 with a child she had when she was married at 16 and her child is now 14. This could pose a serious problem in the relationship. He has no experience with kids. This means he is used to the idea of going and doing whenever he wants. As a married couple he wont be able to do that with his wife because she has a kid that is going to be a teen in years.

                            Lets look at example #2 He is 45 and she is 23 You're instinct and rules Too big of an age difference it wont work. In many cases this will likely prove to be true.

                            However in a case where she is 23 and has a 6 year old and he is 45 has 3 kids from a previous marriage ages 6,7 and 8 those 22 years mean nothing because both people are exactly at the same place in life. Raising young children.

                            How do I know #2 is right? Because I just described me and my wife we met 10 years ago in Odessa and the problem I had was everyone anywhere near my age had kids that were either in the last 2 years of high school or had just started college and the women were not interested in raising smaller children.

                            Stage in life compatibility is far, far, far more important than any age difference. Why does the relationship of the man 69 work with his 45 year old wife? Their kids are grown and out of the house and she is "done" with having and raising kids.

                            Now a 52 year old man who has grown kids dating a 30 year old woman with a 14 year old will likely be a problem because they are not at the same place unless the 52 year old has teenagers.

                            But the 52 year old who has kids that are grown, married and have their own kids WILL be a problem.... again the 52 year old is a grandfather while his wife is still raising a teenager...

                            The reason people cite age difference is that in 'most' cases people who are 15 years apart are at very different places in life in terms of the stage of life they are at. Stage of life is the key, not age difference

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Tracker9195 View Post
                              Hi,
                              I have been to the Ukraine twice this summer after joining some dating sites that highlight Ukrainian women. I am suspicious of the apparent willingness of women half my age to date and maybe marry someday. I am 50 and I am receiving requests from lots of women around 24-27 years old. Can someone who is familiar with Ukrainain women and their relatiohship values comment this subject? I am concerned that it may be more of a "fun thing" for a 25 year old to be entertained and receive lots of attention, by someone like me. I am seeking the love of my life to marry.
                              Regards,
                              Tim
                              The thing with Ukrainian women, and with men also, is that if you are, lets say, 25 year old female without a man, they will think of you as little bit weird as it is very common for people there to get married when they are already 20 years old. So it may have something to do with cultural preferences also.

                              Comment

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