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I have a big doubt about a woman from Ukraine

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Old 24th February 2004, 20:36
Djinnphiz Djinnphiz is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 8
Djinnphiz
...

Jessm...

There are a couple of very good points that have been made by previous respondents to your post...

Go back and really READ some of the past threads... then also go read my own post of three before yours "Caveat Emptor" for a generic evaluatation and commentary...

The point is that opportunities for a "better life" are not THAT evident in Ukraine... certainly not obtained by "honest" means and also only for a very few... Women - anyway - are disadvantaged to a greater extent in mostly all of these Eastern European countries... That's just the way the society works there at the moment.

There IS an alcohol problem with a large proportion of the menfolk... And also, generically, an "attitude" problem towards women that, historically, have been continually subjected to male domination and a subservient social status.

Then again there are all sorts of other generic problems (such as health-care, social security, old people's care, taxation etc.) with the development of these societies and their attempts to pull themselves up by the bootlaces so as to fall inline with our (supposedly) more advanced and "civilised" societal ethic... This of course is a debatable point - as what "they" see as beneficial, the more enlightened of "us" often observe to be a lack in our own social structures that has developped as a corrollary of our supposedly more "advanced sophistication"... (such as deteriorating family values).

The bottom line is...

(a) You will NEVER be totally sure with ANY woman - regaredless of their ethnic origin (and this is most DEFINITELY NOT intended as either a chauvinist or sexist remark!! - but merely a rather open statement of observed fact) - as to what is their absolute BASIC reason for "hooking their chariot to your horses" ... There are many possibilities and they have - as already posted - been in evidence for aeons as part of the man-woman "social contract".

(b) You absolutely MUST go and see her IN HER OWN ENVIRONMENT... meet the family etc... Meet her friends... SEE how she lives: evaluate her "standards" and "value system" and see if it concords with your own... and if it doesn't, SEE by how much... Whether you may both be able to adapt etc.

(c) Be absolutely up front with your lifestyle, family, social and financial commitments and lay it down more negativey than positively... How she reacts to the "bad" news will help you evaluate how important YOU are - as opposed to your "wealth" - to her...

(d) Determine IF there is a way that your intended will be able to support you in your work - or her own - and manage to therefore also make a life for herself so that SHE will feel fulfilled and emancipated - physically and intellectually - should she decide to be with you.

(e) IF you determine to get married, draw up a Pre-Nuprial Agreement... Most women within Anglo-Saxon communities don't like this idea too much... But in Latin and American societies this is quite acceptable and considered no abnormal.

(f) DON'T RUSH !!!! Time is a GREAT moderator and will either enforce your interactivity or it will show the "flaws"... Which you may both then, in full knowledge, accept or not in good conscience.

... And, sincerely, GOOD LUCK ) They are LOVELY people...

Best.
Claude
majordomo@usa.com
Best.
Claude
majordomo@usa.com

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