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HELP,.....Wedding ring customs!!!

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Old 15th June 2003, 20:41
ShermanAtlanta ShermanAtlanta is offline
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ShermanAtlanta
You should buy the book, "Culture Shock Ukraine". It will tell you about the culture and customs. Don't give her a dozen roses unless you want to hurt her feelings. You need to take a little time to learn a little about her life before you live with her.
Sherman
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Old 17th June 2003, 05:06
YouAreAnOak YouAreAnOak is offline
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YouAreAnOak
Great Tip !!!!

I certainly appreciate your input, it sounds like you know what you are talking about, as a matter of fact I placed the order yesterday and will be receiving the book in a few days.
Thanks.
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Old 21st June 2003, 14:57
Stefan_P Stefan_P is offline
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Stefan_P
Hello Fenicks, YouAreAnOak and others,

I am from Holland as well and recently got married to an Ukrainian woman. In Holland we got married by law and our wedding day was mostly according to dutch traditions. In the Ukraine we got married before the Orthodox church, which is a ritual in itself. If your fiance is Orthodox you might want to consider to marry in church as well. In Holland there are quite some Russian Orthodox churches to be found. This will most certainly surprise her parents. If you are not religious you can just try to stick to some of the Ukrainian wedding traditions. In my opinion the big picture of the wedding is not that much different in Holland from the Ukraine. My wife is not from a village, and according to her the weddings are different now from what they used to be. Here are some Ukrainian wedding details not to be found in Holland:

-when you pick up the bride you have to negociate for her with her sister or another familymember, until she agrees with the items you offered (basicly you have to buy her)
-wedding ring to be put on right hand (YouAreAnOak it is really like that)
-At the beginning of the party/diner there is room for the visitors to do good luck speeches, after that you will visit all tables to say thanks for attending and wish them a good party
-If you really want to do it in Ukrainian style make sure all tables are stuffed with food from the beginning and keep them that way all evening, wodka and champagne should be present in huge amounts (of course the disadvantage in Holland is that will make you financially a poor man)
-At the end of the party the mother of the groom has to take of the veil (sluier in dutch) of the brides hair and put on a scarf (sjaaltje). The bride will then dance with all single women and men.
-You cut the wedding cake at the very end of the party together. Both holding the same knife in your right hand and cut the cake from top to bottom.
-Before you leave home to get married a sweet bread should be present. You kiss the bread and the parent of both. Then take a bow towards the parents to thank them for your birth. This symbolizes that you leave your parental home and start a new life togther.

As Irinka already indicated it is all very personal what you do. Just discuss it with your fiance, she knows best. It is difficult to outline all details, on the web you should be able to find more info. Traditions in cities are different from the traditions in the smaller villages. I recommend that you throw the big party in the Ukraine. You will never be able to organize something equal in Holland because of the cultural differences and of course the costs. I had the best party ever, and everybody from Holland enjoyed it very much.

I hope this helps somewhat. You can always write me at: ipa@xs4all.nl

Groetjes,
Stefan.

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