Deception from Ukraine Woman

[underdog]

I met a woman from Ukraine, she married a man and things were not working out, she told me she was unhappy and that she was being abused in her relationship, so I told her that if she was unhappy that she should get away from her husband. So soon she told her husband she wanted a divorce and she moved out she moved in with a friend that lived near her and her and I kept in touch. I felt sorry for her and I helped her get the divorce. about a month later her friends said she had to leave and she had to find some were esle to live so she moved in to a shelter and her and I started dating. A few weeks later the shelter she was staying at told her she could not stay there any more because she had a job and they did not feel like she needed to be their. I told her that she could move in with me but only untill she found a place to live. I was not ready for a live in girl friend, but that is not what ended up happening, I started to fall in love with her and she did not want to leave. I found her a job but she worked very little, she spoke very poor English. That also made things hard for us to communicate. I soon learned that she had a very bad temper and when she got mad she would hit and kick. I tried to tell her that that was not the way to work things out and she told me she knew she had a problem and that she wanted to get help. Things were good for awhile and then she got mad at me one day because I would not let her drive my truck and we started arguing and she started hitting me and then she spit in my face, and that is when I decided she had to leave. I told her to get out of my house and she would cry and tell me she was sorry, but I could not get over it I talked to my friend and showed him the bruses she made on my arms, and we took pictures just incase we might need them later, and then we decided we were both going to talk to her. I was afraid to be alone with her, so my friend came over to be a meadeator and we both told her this was not working and she had to leave now. She tried to find some were to go but could not find any were so I gave her five more days, and the five days went by and she did not leave and then she got mad and hit me again, so this time I went to the police and had her escorted out of my home and I got an order for protection against her. Now she is out and she is saying I abused her and that the things she did to me were done during sex and that is the way I liked it. She is completly trying to turn things around on me. Also I am finding out other things about her like her husband never abused her that she abused him, and to top off all that I found out that she came into this country and she has Syphillis, and she used to work in the gov. when she lived in Ukraine and some how she was able to get some false documents so she could get over her. I went to the doctor and now I am having to get treatment because she spread the diseases. I know I could get a lawyer and press charges for the domestic abuse, but I was told I might not win and she already is trying to turn things around on me, also I do not know what to do about her disease, she will not go to a doctor and she definatly know she has it, I found her medicine and that is how I found out she had it. I am looking for advise.

[stigharaldsson]

Which country do you live in? Have you asked her ex husband about the decease?

You should call the police and tell them about it. In many countries it's considered a crime to spread veneral deceases.

[RNat]

I have a couple of things to say to you.

I have some sympathy with your situation. But not TOO much. The reason is this: you went around behind her first husbands back and encouraged her to get a divorce. Reading between the lines, I think you considered her attractive and planned to win her after she left her husband.

Please- we men need to stick up for one another- and trying to nick each others wives does not help.

As to your situation. If she came in on false documents you can alert the immigration authorities (obviously). Also, if she is not a permanent resident the syphilis infection may be grounds for deportation (or as the other poster said, prosecution). I advise you go to the police about the assault- and make sure you get documentation from them that they have accepted your complaint as a formal complaint. It doesn't matter if you have enough evidence to convict- if she tries something on you later it will help to have a previous complaint of violence against her. A witness to any of the assaults would be great too.

Protect yourself. But also- this girl sounds like she has an incredibly tragic life- so if you can do her the least possible damage in protecting yourself this would be the kind thing to do.