What is more important?

[Yulia]

Well, I don't really know how to name this subject, but what started it caused me a lot of nerves.
See... I had this argument with my grandmom about Ukraine, patriotism, America and well being. See, I'm that kind of person - doesn't matter where I go or who I'm with, I'm still faithfull to Ukraine. And I think that your motherland is very important. And I know even if I'm working hard and studing and hardly have any time - I will go to use this little free time to do something for Ukaine.
My grandmom, on the other hand, would rather keep herself and her family in good health and well being. She sais that all that patriotic stuff is not important, and that if you live in America - you practically have to be American, because this way you'll get better financialy.
You guys will probably laugh, but I'm taking everything way too personaly and I cried my eyes out because of that, I cried for about 3.5 hours. And it's not sadness, it's not even dissapointment, it's something else. You see, when you're my age(19) seems like you have all values figured out, and time to time you get disbalanced by someone really close to you. So, I think it was confusement.
Maybe you guys can help me with that. Which is more important? - your wellbeing or your culture?
Maybe she's right, but why so many patriots suffer in jails for their country is that all is just nonsense?...

[StasUA]

Welcome back Yulya

Of course culture is more important, maybe I am incorrect too, but for me my own wellbeing is like number 87 on the list...

I know what you mean Yulya, I get that sometimes too, and about the same topic, by indeed my close people to me, but no-matter what you should not lose your patriotism toward your motherland. But of course that's just my individual opinion.

Stasik-UA 8-)

[steve_vlasenko]

Hi Yulia,
A very deep and troubling subject. I think if you forget where you're from, you'll always have a huge hole in your life. But when life is very tough, as it is for many people, I think you've got to prioritize. Sometimes this will means putting yourself and you family above everything else.
Maybe you Grandmother was just trying to focus you on succeeding in this crucial stage of life, she probably just didn't go about it in the most constructive way.
On the patriotism issue, I was born in England and consider myself to be English. However, no one could be more proud of their Ukrainian heritage.

HTH
Steve.

[olesya_p]

Dear Yulia,

let me tell you that , Oh GOD, I know how you feel. And let me give you a piece of advice - do not listen to your grandma - lsiten to your heart. However, you have to realize that you will be the most helpful to your country as a successful individual. Just remember that and work hard.

[stevenal_73]

Because I do not have the same circumstances as you and I pretend not to understand everything, I am not an entirely legitimate with this advice. But, being a human being, I can understand with some of your feelings. Ok..I reflect on everything that makes me ...me but I also reflect on who I am as an individual ,and what I can possibily be. I look at it like this...In history, tribes invaded tribes in Europe and Asia and people mixed together. People who had a predominate language and way of being create a nation based on commonality. US is very different because so many people come from all over to create this nation. Focus on where you come from, who you are, what this nation means to you, what you are, what you can be...see the whole picture and do not eliminate any aspect of yourself. For example...sometimes I have feelings that are contrary to what I know. I must recognize both..what is true and why I feel the way I do or you will never be "whole." Forsake nothing and remember to acknowledge all things concerning youself in life. The needs of the human pschy are many. Friends, Steve.Sometimes crying cleanses the soul. No regrets here.

[Yulia]

Thank you, guys, very much, sometimes seems like you don't have any real friend that you can tell everything. And this is very delicate issue... You don't even know how you helped me, how you got my spirit back up.
And since we started this topic, I'm going to be truthfull, open you my heart - tell you one of my dreams.
Now I'm going to college and working pretty hard to get A's in everything, so I can get good proffession. Then, when I have a lot of money, I will go to Ukraine and adopt some children and raise them here in Ukrainian community, which I hope I'll be able to build with the help of some people who are interested.
So, as you see, I'm not as hopeless as my grandmom sees me. Now I'm pretty successful in college and I'm sure there won't be a lot of problems with my career also. And my family won't die from hunger(that's for sure)

Well, anyway, important thing is that there are people out there who are able to understand me, thank you guys.

[StasUA]

I think that we should aim at something higher than this, to raise children in Ukraine, in new Ukraine where they will have everything they can have in US and more.

Stasik-UA 8-)