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"Traditional Values"

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Old 6th May 2002, 04:54
Ulysses Ulysses is offline
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Question

This question is for the guys and girls on the boards. This is not intended as "flame bait" but a serious quesiton. What exactly does "traditional values" mean to you? I see many of you looking for a person with "traditonal values". Does this mean you expect your potential GF/Wife to have never had a sexual partner? How many men in her past is too much for you? Would be be threatened by your potential GF/Wife if she had male friends?...Ladies same question, expect about your BF/Husband.

Regards and let's keep this civil!
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Old 7th May 2002, 07:37
elegua elegua is offline
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values

I don't know about 'traditional' (I think it's a bit of Golden Age-type mythology), but regarding values I think it means character, integrity, and self-respect more than anything. I don't care how many men my girlfriend or potential girlfriend has been with, as long as her approach to relationships and partners is mature and she at least tries to make her relationships meaningful (i.e., she doesn't say things like, 'oooh, cool Camaro, I'd do him.')

Oh...and I like to hope that a partner wouldn't cheat on me. I'd rather be dumped harshly than find out someone cheated on me...
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Old 8th May 2002, 08:21
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Thumbs up VALUES as it should be............

Here we go again,Elegua but this time on values. I respect the values you seek in women as your girlfriend or as your wife.I am sure all of us fully agree with you with regard to character,integerity and self respect as some, if not all the values we seek in a women as a wife or girlfriend.Fully agreed.Now with a women who had so many relationship with so many man ,all with a sexual relatiohship even with the genunine intent of marriage or love,do you think such women have those values you just said such as integerity,character and all the rest of the so called good qualities or should I say values? Lets put it in another way.Women who slept with so many man do they have the basic quality of intergrity or character? Or you still go on catergorising such women who go on having as many sexual relationship as women of great integerity and character.Then what are the values we seek in a woman as our wife.It seems to me as you have just said it makes no difference to you whether your girlfriend had numerous sexual encounters or whether she knew so many boyfriends( even Raj...) for the matter. Then it sounds to me that for you values in life doesn't mean anything at all.If values don't mean anything to you then why set values onto others.Let me make you understand better.Character,integerity and self-Respect is all about values and from Good values come about good character,High Interigity, and self Respect and vice versa.It is these values in life we all should have and this goes to both man and woman.Values in turn are inherited through good family background and upbringing,through religion,through Traditions passed from generation to generation and being incalculated by our Teachers. To make it short and clear to you my friend those good values you are seeking in a women are not from women who go sleeping around with man just for the sake of sex.Don't missunderstand me that I seek women who must be a virgin, never,but women who preserve their values of integerity,character and self respect.The keyword here is preserve.How many of us have these values whether man or women? Rajkumar
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Old 8th May 2002, 19:50
elegua elegua is offline
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hi again, Raj

Again I find myself in general agreement with you. A woman may have had many boyfriends, but if I ask her how many men she's been with and she brings out the Accountant's Book and calculator, I must admit I would be rather suspicious

I guess I was just trying to say there's no magic line where I would make the judgement that a woman had bad character. Instead, it's a proportional curve, with the rising number of sexual partners being directly proportional to the less I would trust her reliability in a relationship. There are always 'outlyers,' if I remember my Statistics courses correctly...that is, women who may represent an extreme example of sexual activity who also have strength of character in a relationship. And of course, just because a woman's had few or no boyfriends doesn't always mean she has a good character, either...every scammer has to start somewhere!

Of course, this applies with men as well...if my sister were dating a guy who puts notches in his bedpost after each woman he's been with, and the notches look like a translation of the King James Bible in Braile, I would do my best to urge my sister that this is a man who would likley break her heart.
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Old 9th May 2002, 22:34
holland holland is offline
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I would expect my boyfriend / husband to be himself and treat me with respect and kindness.
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Old 10th May 2002, 08:02
elegua elegua is offline
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Holland

You sound like a nice, well-balanced lady. Anyone, no matter how many men they have been with, deserve at least a basic degree of human decency and consideration. I might not want to get into a relationship with a woman based on an assortment of factors, but I would never treat anyone strangely or with cruelty just because of her past.

Of course, if that person in the present tense demonstrated a lack of trustworthiness, my general respect of strangers would end.
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Old 10th May 2002, 08:33
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Thanks Elegua and over to you Holland.......

Thank's again elegua,for the clarification you gave me and I would say there was further enlightment to me on the facts presented by you.What amuses me most was what you said "every scammer has to start somewhere".I suppose then it is true when we start a relationship with the opposite sex we already have the intent set in our minds.This intent in any relationsp between the opposite sexes finally ends with sex whether the relationship materialises or not. So in otherwards when a relationship takes of, the mind is already set to scheme and what does a female scammer set her mind to the man she is in relationship,how to get this relationship materalise and how to reap his pockets to the maximum,as for the male scammmer all he thinks even with his pockets being reaped and how emotoinally involved he is with the women,is how to get her in bed.Do you agree with me Elegua up to now.Then lets conclude one thing,a female scammer in a relationship looks for Financial Security while we male scammers somehow look for Sex.So in any relationship of courting with the intent of marriage we are actually scammers in a way.You have put it very well elengua.Whether we are scammers in a relationship with the intent of marriage, if we had kept or uphold our values of interigity,character, and self-respect then sex should be kept after marriage.This is all about values in life and so called Traditonal Values.You can be scammer in a way because the element of intent is always there in a relationship but we must not be subjected to lose our interigity,character,and self-respect in any circimstances at all.Now I am sure Holland is going to come up with -"SEX after or before marriage?" (somehow he or she(I really don't know) seems to be creeping after me for no reason). But remember friends we should be focussed on values and I would like to see how the topic "Sex after or Before Marriage" blends in this thread of "Traditional Values". Rajkumar
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