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  #36 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 18:26
Laryska Laryska is offline
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Your views and my views...

Al,
I totally agree with you about the comment of daycares and nannies. As I explained earlier, I believe I had a very lucky childhood, and my nanny was part of our family, and still is. She was a good mentor, and I know that these days such trust worthy people are very hard to find. I don't think it is right for children to be brought up at day care centers. I absoulutely hate that idea! Many of these institutions are dirty, and neglected. This is not a good place to raise a child at all. And about boarding schools... I know if I was a mother, I would never want to let my child go away from me for such a long period of time. I agree with Don on this one. A mother would worry day and night for her children if they were in a boarding school.
About your financial statistics regarding a family who has one spouse staying at home... I find it hard to believe that it is cheaper. I know if my mother had not gone to work, I would not enjoy many of the "luxeries" I had as a child. Also, while we were debating the issure of stay at home mothers, I asked my mother why she chose not to stay at home. She simply said she wanted our family to be more financially secure, and also she needed freedom. She needed to be involved in something other than raising a family and running a household. Also, my mother's career was not some job that made just "a few dollars" she even made just as much as my father.
What else can I say??
This issue is tough to disucuss because their are so many different views. The more I analyze this, the more I have reason to delay getting married and having children. This is a huge responsiblity. I plan on having children one day.... but who knows what is in store for me!
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  #37 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 18:48
Cirrucon Cirrucon is offline
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It is a very difficult topic to discuss, as those who have views have them very deeply ingrained in them. For the most part they either want all people to be raised the way they were because they loved it, or they want all people not to be raised the way they were because they hated it. Just an observation.

I look through thius topic because when I marry, I do not expect my wife to work, For several reasons. For one, because I make enought that she does not need to, If she chooses to that is her right, but it is not necessary. Also my dream/plan fort the future, Is to purchase a sailboat, and saila round the world many times with my wife and children.

This will present both many joys and many hardships. A woman who was planning to, and happy to, be a housewife and mother to her children, would much easier accept this way of life. Where a job is not available to her.

And yes, I plan to make all of this information well known in the very beginning of any relationship, I have met many women who hated the idea of being away from friends and family for a long time, all alone with the family only.

I have met others who think they love the idea, But I am unsure whether or not they would when the time came, and I have met a few who think it will truly be fun and an adventure.

So now you can at least partially understand my interest in this topic. In order for my future plans to work I NEED a woman who is home oriented and likes to Nest, but also who is very smart and powerful, Who can help teach our kids all they need to know in life. and raise educated trustworthy children, in the absence of a state mandated education system.

A little insight into my world.

Al
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  #38 (permalink)  
Old 13th July 2002, 06:26
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Children From Divorced Parents

Who should be placed in boarding schools? Children from broken homes should be placed in boarding schools.In otherwards children from divorced parents should have their Education through the boarding schools.In this way such children will not have to face the adjustments when either parents get remarried and go through the agony and trauma of living with the step-father or step-mother.Over my years with such children from divorced parents I have noted that these children are much happier in boarding schools and they show better grades in their studies compared to if they were living with their step-parents.The boarding school envoriment makes such children suffer less from the psychological trauma of having divorced parents.In the boarding schools such children have a better envoriment to make them forget themselves as children from divorced parents.If such children were living with their step-parents there is always an emotional conflict within themselves and they are always reminded of the fact they are living with either of the step father or step-mother and they tend to be emotionally disturbed.I srongly believe that such children should be placed in boarding schools.If children from divorced parents have the choice to choose to stay between boarding schools and their own grandparents I would choose the later.They will be much better with their own grandparents and it will be less traumatic to them.I shall continue later as I have a group of beauticians waiting for an interview with me as they want to offer their beauty therapy in my resort.
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  #39 (permalink)  
Old 14th July 2002, 00:30
Nurse_Betty Nurse_Betty is offline
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I haven't been to a boarding scholl but it sounds awful, Raj.
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  #40 (permalink)  
Old 14th July 2002, 04:44
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Wink

Have you stayed in a HOSTEL Nurse_Betty? I mean the Nurses's hostel.I have stayed in a Hostel with boys and girls.I will get back to you later on boarding Schools.
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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 14th July 2002, 13:34
Nurse_Betty Nurse_Betty is offline
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Yes, I stayed in HOSTEL in NYC, but I was an adult. Children should be with their mothers.
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  #42 (permalink)  
Old 15th July 2002, 06:35
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Thumbs up Nurse_Betty For Once I and YOU agree

Nurse_Betty for once we are in the same view that is children should always be with their mother in whatever circumstances.Even if the parents are divorced I strongly believe that the custody of the child should be given to the mother.Children are brought up much better by their mother compared to their father.I have asked many children from 5-12 years of age when these children are faced with this kind of situation where their parents are undergoing the divorce process and true enough these children prefer to be brought by their mother instead of their father.It has always been a sad moment for me when I am faced with such children from divorced parents.Within them they only hope that the divorce won't take place and they want to be brought up with both the father and mother.The love for the parents has always been the same for both of them but when the parents have no choice except divorce the children still prefer to be with their mother.What saddens me in a divorce is how children are made use of by the parents for their own gains to help them in their divorce.Sometimes such children are tailored with the answers against their will to testify against either parent in the divorce proceedings.See how children are placed in such a situation and this itself is a trauma to the child.Most fathers exert a considerable influence on their children to get even with his wife when she asks for a divorce from her husband and this is shown on the legal battle over the custody of such children.Each divorced parent proving in the courts to be a fit parent to bring up their children.Coming back to boarding schools I am sure such children if faced with such a situation will be much better in a boardind school if the child wishes not to hurt either parents.I have met many children who were sent to boarding schools right from a very young age till their graduation and my conclusion about them is that though they may have excelled on the academic side but they have alot of hangups in them compared to children who were brought with their parents.Some of the drawbacks of children from boarding schools include a very dominating character and a sense of superiority over others and they can be quite irritating.Besides such children are very argumentative and less submissive and always proud of themselves.Ver egoistic in a way.These children somehow from boarding schools are a sort of an anti-social element when they grow big and they are very very choosy in their friends and life time patners.But because of the circumstances leading to them being brought up in boarding schools I am tolerable to them in a way.So tell me Nurse_Betty how old are you and how were you brought up?
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