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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 23rd May 2002, 19:00
Ulysses Ulysses is offline
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Re: Reply me on Akward situation.....Ulysess

I think that this Redlip girl is playing with Toto. Even if Forest made a move, he would not have a chance. Redlips needs and inexperienced young boy. Someone who's feelings she will play with...That's my take on it.

BTW, I answered your question.

Quote:
Originally posted by Rajkumar
Shhh....Ulysess,don't worry SN is away.By the way Ulysess,this redlip wants to give an audition to toto.So I suggested it would be a great idea for Forest to make the first move and later he knows how to return the favour.But Ulysess you are innoncent why are you getting messed up here.Don't even have any ideas on redlip.I still haven't got the answer from you on the posting of "akward situation".Would you be courteuos to reply otherwise I won't give you on the forcast results of the World Cup.Remember I am psychic.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 05:45
Cirrucon Cirrucon is offline
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You said:

Traditional Housewives
I would like to further embelish my last comment about how I feel Ukrainian Women should not be viewed as home makers. The reason I brought this issue up is because I feel that in genrerl, european women have been perceived as solely house wives. I am not a Ukrainian history expert but I know that in the past Ukrainian women had to work very hard at managing the home, and careing for their children. But now times are changing and most women have decent careers and can still run a household. However, many Ukrainian men still have the " traditional housewife" engrained in their minds as an ideal wife. This ideal is abviously not realistic. It is very frustrating to know that their are still men who think that women in general should stay home and be home makers. I still believe in a traditional family setting, but couples should work together in a marriage.
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What is wrong with being a housewife???

Why are men who wish to have a housewife Bashed by women who feel this is somehow degrading??

First of all, I must say, A woman has every right to work, and I have nothing against that if it is something they wish to do.

But why, when the man in the relationship makes plenty of money to support the family, Does the woman need to work in order to PROVE something to society, PROVE that she is a real woman?

Why should the children of the family's hearth be raised by someone else, While both parents are working??
If the family does not need her to work, then it is better for the family unit as a whole if she does not. The family can be raised the way the mother and father decide to raise them. The house can be kept clean and the food served.

Cleaning the house and taking care of the children and cooking is a FULL TIME JOB.

For both members of the couple to work, and then share these duties when they arrive at home is insanity, They then both wind up working way to many hours between house and work, and do not have the kind of time needed for their family and their relationship to one another.

For the woman to work all day at home and the man to do the same at a job, and for him to come home and the FAMILY to be able to spend the ENTIRE rest of the evening together, devoud of any chores or tasks, allows the family to stay whole, and functional. It can make for a VERY VERY happy family and a relationship that can be taken to the grave.

I guess I just to not understand this New Feminist Viewpoint that a womans place is no longer in the home.

Before I am flamed I must say, that is the mother chooses to work and the father stays home and does all the household work, The situation is the same. My mother works hard, Her husband works only around the house. They have a wonderful amount of family time together because of this setup, and the family strength and happiness this causes is well worth the small decrease in household income.

Money is not the fuel that runs the world, Love and family are, and they should be placed back in the ragard they once had

Thanks,
Al
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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 06:29
Laryska Laryska is offline
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Question

Al,
Why do I think it is bad to sterotype women as "housewives".... Because in the world we live in today women are not housewives... and many are far from that.
You mentioned how if the husband of a marriage were to make enough money for the family, the wife should stay home with her children. This solution to a marriage can work in some cases, but have you ever considered the wife to make more money then her husband, and let the husband stay home with the children?? This is quite possible in this time of day. And what would be wrong with that? Are you saying it is wrong for equal oppourtunity between males and females?
Also, if the husband's salary supplied the family with enough wealth to survive, why would it be so bad for the wife to go out into the work force and discover herself?? By women going on to further education, and further carreer paths, they discover what talents they may not have been able to uncover while working at home as a house wife.
For example, my mother was a career women by day, and a caring mother by night. I never once felt that she abandoned me as a child. My family had a nanny, who was more like the grandmother I never had, who stayed with us during the day. It was wonderful, and we never treated our nanny as a nanny... I called her "Baba"- grandmother, and I love her to this day for staying with us. Maybe my situation is one of the exceptions, but I do belive it is possible for women to go out into the work force, and still be caring, devotated wives and mothers.
The fact is for many women who stay at home, it is an embarrasment that they have nothing "extra" to show for themselves, just the house hold that she runs. However, many women are proud of being a housewife, and I give them full credit for feeling this way, it is a tough job. But, all of my comments have been personal opinion that I wish to share with all of you. I hope to enlighthen some of you into a new way of thinking.
Finally, Al you have to admit that our world is economicly driven. There is abosolutlely no doubt about that! If you didn't have money, you wouldn't be sitting on a computer with access to the internet. To run a modern, smooth, household, with several children money is the key to survival. Everyday tuition fees and school fees are raising. if you had the chance to give your children a good home, and a good future by having both husband and wife working, why would you ever deprive your children of such a life??
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 07:18
Cirrucon Cirrucon is offline
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laryska;

You seem to have not read my post before commenting because I did include in there that it is perfectly acceptable for the woman to work and the man to be the "househusband". My mother's relationship works this way.

But I definitely see it as an advantage for the children to be raised by a parent. Where I live at least, It is against the law for any paid child keeper/babysitter to spank, discipline, aor raise a voice to a child. If you are not the parent or guardian, You cannot do it. This causes almost all children who live their lives away from their parents to be little hellions. Not bycause they are bad clildren, but because their parents are not there to discipline them, and no one else is allowed to.

There is a great advantage to growing up with a parent around the house. Someone to ask questions of and look up to.

Very few people will ever be able to afford a Nany who will reside at their house during the day and take care of the children. This would cost nearly as much as either spouse makes at their job.

And when you take your children somewhere to be cared for, Whether it is a good place or not. One person is looking after eight to twelve children. They cannot grow and learn, or ask questions and get caring answers, because the caretaker is too busy to spend so much time with one clild.

I also know that it has been statistically proven that children who grew up with a parent in the home are less likely to commit crime, less likely to do drugs, and more likely to get good grades and go to college. I can look those statistics up and prove it if you wish.

The point is, It is good for a child to have a parent in the home, and as parents, we should strive to put that childs best interest forward, not ours. If the woman wants to pursue a career before the couple has children. When the first child is born the couple can decide together which member will remain working, and which will stay at home.

And for those that have never done it, Being a housewife IS A JOB. It takes a full day's work every day, and is no easier than what anyone does when they go to work. If a woman has a clean house, and well kept children she should be very proud of herself, for she has something most people can only dream of, Because they put their wishes ahead of their childs.

and finally, Your words about money.

Yes, this world is financially driver. But many times it is driver too far.

If a stay at home parent makes the childrens young and adult lives better, and gives them a better chance of surviving and thriving in society, Then is it worth not getting a new bigger house, and staying in the one you have, Not buying a new bigger car, when the one you have is fine. These are the sacrifices Parents are suppsoed to make for their children.

And when you look at it from an economical standpoint, Almost always!! if you add up everything it costs each spouse to work, commuting costs, food, and childcare, and cubtract this from what each spouse makes, You will find that the one who makes less, be it the man or the woman, would actually bring more to the family by staying home.

When you do the math, and after working expenses, business clothing, and childcare, the least payed spouse many times only contributes a few dollars per month. Is it worth the time away from your children and the hassles of working for a few dollars a month??

I think not!

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  #33 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 09:06
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Question Boarding Schools

Tell me something Cirrucon,what do you think of children brought up in boarding schools? What age is the best to place a child in a boarding school? Some working parents find boarding school for their children as the best solution.Do such children in boarding schools differ in any way from the children brought up by their own parents at home.Your views Cirrucon will be much appreciated.Thank You.
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 11:25
Donquichotte Donquichotte is offline
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Re: Boarding Schools


Raj,

If I may interfere, the issue of boarding schools is tightly connected to history, culture and tradition.
For instance, a italian relative of mine married an english man, and when her husband decided to send their son to a boarding school (like he had been sent to in his early days), she told him "over my dead body".

It may seem funny but they actually divorced because of that : an Italian mother (and probably spanish too) would never let her children go to a boarding school.

So yes children do differs, but this difference is not only the effect of BSc but also as a whole of the cultural environment.

If you ask me, I think its better to raise your children and follow them as closely as possible, where as some others might object that BSc. teaches them to become independant.
I have to say that the prospect of not seeing my children for weeks if they were in BSc would probably be unbearable, but what do I know, I don't have any children.And I must confessed my opinion is biased, being half italian !
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  #35 (permalink)  
Old 11th July 2002, 16:43
Cirrucon Cirrucon is offline
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Boarding schools??

This is a difficult question for me, As I have little experience with them.

From what I know, Most boarding schools maintain either a religious or a military style of learning and upbringing to the students. Either of these is a good way for a child to be raised, but I do feel that it would be best for a child to be raised by his/her parents.

I know one person who went to a military boarding school, So my views are limited, but he has a very difficult time with his parents. He was taught to live by a strict set of rules, Neat, Tidy, organized, and dosciplined. When he see's his parents he treats them with respect, but he loathes having to see them because the way they live and act is completely opposite of the way he has been taught.

He actually looks down upon his parents because of the boarding school teachings.

Again I must say this is only one person so I cannot say this is something that happens often or is a problem.

I guess I mainly do not see the reason for a boarding school, Why should I have a child if I am going to let him/her leave my hearth at a young age and be raised/taught by someone else.

I must say in their defense though, A child brought up in a boarding school will not carry on any of the bad habits learned from his/her parents.

I guess if there is a REASON for the child to go to boarding school then it is not a bad idea, but the prefered method would still be at home.

A boarding school is given much more freedom in the discipline of a child, and therefor can raise a child the way a parent could, where many times a nany or a child's day care center could not.

Al
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