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Old 12th May 2002, 00:34
Ulysses Ulysses is offline
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Re: Thanks Elegua and over to you Holland.......

In your view, is sex before marriage incompatible with integrity, character and self respect?


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Originally posted by Rajkumar
if we had kept or uphold our values of interigity,character, and self-respect then sex should be kept after marriage.
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Old 13th May 2002, 10:58
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Smile To Ulysses.

Lets analyse your statement"sex before marriage is incompatable with integerity,character, and self-respect.Whether it is the answer or otherwise,lets hear what I have to say about it.My sincere answer is no.Sex before marriage does not undermine a person's character, integerity or self-respect.But circumstances on how it led to sex before marriage must be considered seriously before we make a determination of one's character,self-respect and integerity.When I mean circumstances leading to sex before marriage I am talking about whether it was done mutually with emotions, with the sole intent both parties are emotionally secured to conclude a marriage.Then sex with sincere feelings of love and done with full of emotions to one another, is having character,self-respect and integerity.In otherwards sex without lust in a true and stable emotional relationship is compatabile with all the three we talking about.But today sex is so free that it is done with lust rather then with emotions between two opposite sexes.You must understand the word lust very carefully before you fully understand my views on the question you posed to me.TO ME LUST IS INTENSE SEXUAL desire.In any relationship before marriage we should not have sex with lust but with emotions and sincerity and only when both parties are so secured to commit it to marriage.Now Ulysses,if you have understood this,then hear this.Many of us get into a relationship and somehow we are caugtht in this situation of having sex .In this context I would darely say we are no better then the other when it comes to having sex.We make it happen before marriage because we have all the ready reasons to make it happen and it boils down to our lust and the reasons, such as I need to have sex with you simply because I will be sure it is only for me or you are not getting it from some one else,or the other reason ready from us is your virginity is my road to marriage with you or you want to prove to one another your sexual capalibilites of sexual satisfaction to each other. There are so many reasons each party gives just to satisfy their sexual desires and that is lust.It is our lust more the anything which allows us to have sex in the first place before marriage.Now lets try to see if we can conclude something to the question you posed.Now a person having numerous affairs with numerous sexual activities along with it then how do you compare her or him in terms of interegity,character,and self-respect.You know what I would say to such a person, I would condemn such a person to the lowest category of an animal or a barbarian.How can such a person have character,self-respect and integerity.Tell me Ulysses am I not right and even after two relationships which didn't work out, he or she should learn the values of life and not repeat having sex again.Sometimes we get carried away in a relationship but we must learn not to forget our virtuosness in life and that is character,interigity and self -respect.God created sex as it should be but we abuse it to suit it to our ways losing in the process our integerity,self-respect and character.Today the greatest excuse we give about having sex is,it is the basic physiological needs of our body.WE were guided by religion even in when it comes to sex but we abuse it because we have all the reasons best suited to justify ourselves that sex is free for all and no more sacred as it used to be.I do hope I have answered your question in a way Ulysses but there is still alot to say about your question as it is sometimes very hard to seek the true answers to that question. Thanks Rajkumar
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Old 13th May 2002, 17:40
Ulysses Ulysses is offline
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Thumbs up Clear

Now, I understand your views! Hear you loud and clear.

I think the best way to answer your question is...People should think before having sex...

Quote:
Originally posted by Rajkumar
Lets analyse your statement"sex before marriage is incompatable with integerity,character, and self-respect.Whether it is the answer or otherwise,lets hear what I have to say about it.My sincere answer is no.Sex before marriage does not undermine a person's character, integerity or self-respect.But circumstances on how it led to sex before marriage must be considered seriously before we make a determination of one's character,self-respect and integerity.When I mean circumstances leading to sex before marriage I am talking about whether it was done mutually with emotions, with the sole intent both parties are emotionally secured to conclude a marriage.Then sex with sincere feelings of love and done with full of emotions to one another, is having character,self-respect and integerity.In otherwards sex without lust in a true and stable emotional relationship is compatabile with all the three we talking about.But today sex is so free that it is done with lust rather then with emotions between two opposite sexes.You must understand the word lust very carefully before you fully understand my views on the question you posed to me.TO ME LUST IS INTENSE SEXUAL desire.In any relationship before marriage we should not have sex with lust but with emotions and sincerity and only when both parties are so secured to commit it to marriage.Now Ulysses,if you have understood this,then hear this.Many of us get into a relationship and somehow we are caugtht in this situation of having sex .In this context I would darely say we are no better then the other when it comes to having sex.We make it happen before marriage because we have all the ready reasons to make it happen and it boils down to our lust and the reasons, such as I need to have sex with you simply because I will be sure it is only for me or you are not getting it from some one else,or the other reason ready from us is your virginity is my road to marriage with you or you want to prove to one another your sexual capalibilites of sexual satisfaction to each other. There are so many reasons each party gives just to satisfy their sexual desires and that is lust.It is our lust more the anything which allows us to have sex in the first place before marriage.Now lets try to see if we can conclude something to the question you posed.Now a person having numerous affairs with numerous sexual activities along with it then how do you compare her or him in terms of interegity,character,and self-respect.You know what I would say to such a person, I would condemn such a person to the lowest category of an animal or a barbarian.How can such a person have character,self-respect and integerity.Tell me Ulysses am I not right and even after two relationships which didn't work out, he or she should learn the values of life and not repeat having sex again.Sometimes we get carried away in a relationship but we must learn not to forget our virtuosness in life and that is character,interigity and self -respect.God created sex as it should be but we abuse it to suit it to our ways losing in the process our integerity,self-respect and character.Today the greatest excuse we give about having sex is,it is the basic physiological needs of our body.WE were guided by religion even in when it comes to sex but we abuse it because we have all the reasons best suited to justify ourselves that sex is free for all and no more sacred as it used to be.I do hope I have answered your question in a way Ulysses but there is still alot to say about your question as it is sometimes very hard to seek the true answers to that question. Thanks Rajkumar
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Old 17th May 2002, 14:18
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Thumbs up Think before having Sex...........

Bingo,Ulysess you said the golden statement-People should think before having sex.If they have this concept then sex should be the last priority in a relationship between man and woman.Ulysess you know how many women lost their virginity or felt cheated all because of the false promises made by man in getting them to bed.In this respect I put the blame fully on man who are the greatest schemers in getting women to bed in a relationship.Tell me Ulysess women as such generally,do not make sex a priority in a relationship, they are looking more for an emotional relationship, whereas it is the man who provacates a woman into a sexual relationship.When this happens a women being a human after all gives in with a lot of protest and promises from the man before she goes to bed with him.The keyword here she finally gives in to a man with protest.I am sure you and me have face this kind of situation with a woman one time or the other.It is we man who makes the mistake and creates the situation and the woman gets branded as a loose character girl and its easy to take her to bed.We created the situation and that's what makes woman as what she is today.Even a prostitute for the matter don't give in to sex as it seems.You got to give her the respect as a lady and throw a few romantic words before she even has it as paid sex.I have worked with these people in some way or the other ,professionally of course,and I have learnt alot about woman as such.Most woman lose their virginity through false promise made by man such as a promise of marriage.Woman are the victims of man's scheme.Got to go Ulysess as I am anxiously waitig for the Part 4 of your analysis. Rajkumar
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Old 18th May 2002, 02:58
SweetNovember SweetNovember is offline
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Re: Think before having Sex...........

Quote:
Originally posted by Rajkumar
Bingo,Ulysess you said the golden statement-People should think before having sex.If they have this concept then sex should be the last priority in a relationship between man and woman.Ulysess you know how many women lost their virginity or felt cheated all because of the false promises made by man in getting them to bed.In this respect I put the blame fully on man who are the greatest schemers in getting women to bed in a relationship.Tell me Ulysess women as such generally,do not make sex a priority in a relationship, they are looking more for an emotional relationship, whereas it is the man who provacates a woman into a sexual relationship.When this happens a women being a human after all gives in with a lot of protest and promises from the man before she goes to bed with him.The keyword here she finally gives in to a man with protest.I am sure you and me have face this kind of situation with a woman one time or the other.It is we man who makes the mistake and creates the situation and the woman gets branded as a loose character girl and its easy to take her to bed.We created the situation and that's what makes woman as what she is today.Even a prostitute for the matter don't give in to sex as it seems.You got to give her the respect as a lady and throw a few romantic words before she even has it as paid sex.I have worked with these people in some way or the other ,professionally of course,and I have learnt alot about woman as such.Most woman lose their virginity through false promise made by man such as a promise of marriage.Woman are the victims of man's scheme.Got to go Ulysess as I am anxiously waitig for the Part 4 of your analysis. Rajkumar
All you say Raj is true only for very concervative cultures where women are LOOKED DOWN UPON if they have pre-marital sex. In a democtratic culture, a woman would firt sniff the guy out, who is he as a person, what is he like in bed and only then think if she would like to have a long-term relationship with him. Women do tend to be more emotional in a relationship than men, but not really because sex is not a priority. I honestly do not understand how people can get married without first having sex? What if they don't match each other? They are not going to obstain from it for the rest of their lifes just because they have "an emotional connection". You know, to give you an example, my own mother (see, I don't want to be accused of talking about "corrupted young women of today) divorced her first husband (not my father) BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T STAND THEIR LOVELIFE. Yes, she got married because of the societal pressure, but even that couldn't stop her from making everything she could to get rid of him. Why such sacrifices? Sex is part of a relationship, so let it be there from the beginning.
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Old 18th May 2002, 06:08
Rajkumar Rajkumar is offline
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Thumbs up To you SN.....

Very impressive views SN and I respect your views as it is. What as come about your views is we have two types of cultures,a conservative and a democratic culture.I wonder where do I fit in,I find no answers to it at this moment.In short we have a society with conservative ideology and a society with democratic ideology.So from a conservative society with progress in Science and Technology emerged a democratic society,and this is all about what we call Liberalisation.Through time we progressed in our thinking,ideologies,our ways of life and progressed towards modernization and towards everything as what we called democracy.Then how do you place values and traditions when we were progressing towards modernisation and what you call democracy.The values our society upheld even in this era of transformation towards modernisation.It seems as what you say SN we have discarded these virteous values which our society upheld in the transformation era towards whatever we call liberalisation to this era of democracy and modernisation.Sex is the virteuos value our society upheld through generations and through the teachings of all religions.In otherwards Sex should be as it was and is, as laid down by Religion and upheld by society through generations as sacred as it should be and should not be manipulated by a society which is progressing in whatever way or direction it is going.In this way the most important virtue which determines character,self respect and integerity that is sex should be as what society and religion as upheld it as such. A conservative society doesn't really mean it is not progressive or democratic but a society where the most important virtue is upheld that is Sex should be done with a commintment towards marriage,without Lust and as my learned friend Ulysess puts it "People should think before having Sex".Sex with mutual emotions is sacred and sex with lust is an animalistic behaviour.Sexual incompatabilites is an excuse we humans coined but with emotions and understanding sex can be made compatabile and everlasting.So the question of scarfice in relationship to sex when sex is incompatable doesn't really rise for it can be made compatabile through understanding each other's needs.These are my views and what worries me is how we manipulate sex for our lust more than anything and make it as holy as it seems with a sense of guilt always in us after sex before marriage. Rajkumar
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 18th May 2002, 10:02
Laryska Laryska is offline
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Tradition with a Twist

I think that traditional values should be respected and upheld, but with a modern point of view in a relationship. Ukrainian women should not be seen as homemakers-stuck to do housework all day. As well, Ukrainian men should not be viewed as Kozaky on horseback. Tradition is important in order to maintain a pure culture and a system of beliefs. Couples should respect each other and treat each other with dignity.
We all know Ukrainian women like to be honored for who they are, but so should men. When couples are in a relationship, they shouldn't take things for granted-it's not a game. People must be respected.
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