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Ukrainian men possessive?

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Old 5th May 2015, 18:24
Yonnie Yonnie is offline
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Ukrainian men possessive?

Hello. Was wondering if anyone could help me in my situation? I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I just found out last week (from his mother) that his father is Ukrainian. He told me he was Italian and German. I don't know why he would lie about his nationality? Would've made my 2 years with him make more sense. Always wondered why he wanted me to dress like a sex pot and wear heels and stockings. It's not me..but iv adapted. But my question is why does he seclude me from all my friends and family? He has 2 Facebook accounts and friends hot girls that he doesn't even know. Do UK men have to have more than one girl to look at? UK men do have stanima in bed...think that's why I put up with a lot of crap. But he lies and sneaks around with his phone. Iv seen many slutty pictures of other girls on his phone. Are UK men sex addicts to the point where it doesn't matter if I'm in the next room waiting for him but he'd rather pleasure himself in the bathroom to other girls pics...why? Iv done everything this man has asked, I bend over backwards for him, greet him at door with kiss and make sure his work clothes are done and dinner is ready. My world revolves around his schedule. I'm just a country German girl that likes to socialize but can't cuz I'd get accused of something stupid. I don't give him a reason to doubt me, he keeps me like prisoner in my home. I'm only allowed to dress smokin hot when I'm with him, like a trophy. He is very rude but puts on a good show in public. He fits the description as a narsassist and then again as a master muniplitater and then I find out he's Ukrainian. He is insecure and has issues. Did I fall in love with the devil or is this normal for UK men? I contantly get asked what did you do today?talk to anyone? Face times me on I phone to see where I am and what I'm wearing. But if I ask that to him, sometimes he flips out. He has his phone attached to his hip and won't leave it near me. Why so shady? Obviously he's hiding something but I think he's loyal? I know he's a hard worker, he's foreman for construction company...that's where I met him I also work in construction as a laborer but not for same company. Dress like a guy for work and strap on heels on the weekends looking like a VS model for him. I miss country line dancing and visiting my friends. Any advice would help. Trying to understand this nationality, like I said just found out last week he had lied to me so need input how UK men and women are?
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Old 5th May 2015, 18:30
AkMike AkMike is offline
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Heritage or nationality has nothing to do with his traits. He is what he is.

Deal with it or move on. You're not going to change him.

Look for a nice guy and stop being thrilled with the bad boys image.

Retirement sucks! You never get a day off!!!
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Old 5th May 2015, 19:46
Yonnie Yonnie is offline
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But he can be very loving but NOT understanding. I love the fact that he is very hard working and knowledgable and he gives me a lot of attention sometimes too much but when it comes to getting emotionally involved he distances himself. Maybe afraid to get too close? Sex is great but I do all the work and he can be very rude at times but won't get romantic. That's not a UK thing is it? They love and protect their women and that's it? Just trying to understand how UK men are wired that's all. Just trying to get different perspectives on people's relationships with UK men and how to deal with this one. Maybe I'm just a stepping stone or will he go to counseling? Hmmm?
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Old 6th May 2015, 04:09
stepanstas stepanstas is offline
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I think Mike explained it perfectly and it has nothing to do with him being either British or having Ukrainian herritage.

My personal thought, the fact that your world revolves around him causes him to do more harm to you. He just doesn't care and you do and he loves that part about it. Stop caring and move on. I get the sense that you're willing to stay with him if you're convinced this is normal for all men from the UK, and there is no such thing, everyone is different.
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Old 6th May 2015, 08:53
Pontius Pontius is offline
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First of all, and the most important, what I will write below should not be considered negative nor positive. It is simply neutral and doesn't have to strictly concern that topic.

Saying that nationality doesn't interface with personal traits is not definitely accurate. Or, to be more precise, not nationality but being brought up in particular cultural field defines our character features and how we behave, how we live, what we think about some topics (mostly controversial, like religion, politics or sexuality). Same goes with attitude toward relationships, marriage etc.

Why that happens? In the past people who lived in particular kulturkreises had not much choice - they lived as rulers said, as their beliefs said and as the interpretors of their "holy books" said. In European Catholic countries we had Inquisition with their "Malleus Maleficarum", who burned people alive, tortured them etc. What could have a common non-Catholic think about someone who came from Spain? Well, probably very religious guy. Today it is a bit different, but "a bit" only because we have an illusion of freedom. Information we get are quite similar to information our ancestors had - only one-sided. What forms our behaviour and way of living is called "media". We see on TV how we should live. We see other people, who are liked, and we want to be like them. But in different parts of the world different people are shown as authority figures. We are in better position than our ancestors, however. We still have a choice - to live as others (for example in Poland be a Roman Catholic, but anticlerical, complain on everything, say "kurwa" thrice in a sentence), or live as yourself, not as a copy of someone. We can search for different information, avoid TV. Unfortunately, people are mostly stuffed with some images and want to follow.

There is also a tradition. Also stereotypes, which are false only in ~90%, but still 10% is a bit of truth. There are many things that make people different and are creating a culture. For example, I've noticed (and many people from other parts of the world) that Poles are more distant from other nationalities. We are a bit gloomy and perceived as sad people who like to complain, while other nations are more open. And this is actually very similiar to the problem mentioned in this topic - some character features are general for the nation. Obviously, not everyone is the same, however I am talking about majorities.

If someone is brought up in one cultural circle, she/he will mostly probably follow all these images as they were a part of people's personality. And still are. If we see something in Germany and then go to e.g. Moldova, we will see that there are different ways of thinking and ways of living. Different rules, different traditions.

Conclusion: where we were brought up influences our behaviour.

However, on topic 100%, I cannot say how Ukrainian men are perceiving such stuff as relationship, but all those who I met are rather positive. In case of relationship most important than cultural circle is how we were brought up as human beings, not as people of some nations. Also our personal observations, afterthoughts... nationality is less important here, so there is no one rule.
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Old 6th May 2015, 12:37
Yonnie Yonnie is offline
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Thank you for your inputs. That's my problem, I have a huge heart and he took advantage of it so it seems. He's charming and total opposite of my ex. My friends loved him at first and then he found a way to dislike them cuz they didn't praise him like he's some kind of God or something. I really think I'm dealing with a narsassist and master muniplitater. Says he loves me constantly but if I have a problem or opinion of something he's doing wrong than he calls me the worst names In the book. Maybe I need counseling for all the mental abuse. Lol I just didn't know if this is normal for UK men cuz Iv read about their stereotypes from a woman on this forem and he fits everything except the smoking he doesn't smoke and he loves his tequila sometimes. He said his 2 biggest downfalls were woman and tequila. Maybe he's a insecure gigalo? Fits that description too. Wow. I found someone with all the wrong signs but am attached to him for some reason? Hmmm well guess this is a tough one. Don't know if I'm the only girl out there in the world to experience this kind of person but knowing his nationality from the beginning wouldn't of made me think I was the crazy psycho that he says I am. Went from my ex that didn't work to one that works very hard and is a turn on for most women here in the U.S. Lol go figure.
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Old 6th May 2015, 14:01
Farrieress Farrieress is offline
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He sounds like my American Ex. From my experience with this personality type, your needs will never come before his desires, his wants are first priority regardless of how it makes you feel, and this keeping you isolated and feeling "less than" is a way to control you and keep you dependent on him.

My Ukrainian fiance is the complete opposite, and that's why I fell in love with him. So there are "bad" and "good" men everywhere.
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