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Old 5th November 2012, 02:04
seagirl seagirl is offline
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Question about Ukrainian men

Hello. I'm new to this website.

I have a question regarding Ukrainian men. There is a man from Ukraine that seems to really like me. He approached me online about a year ago of which..I was polite, but didn't give him much response. Within the past couple of months he approached me again. He seems to be very keen on me and we have communicated online, via email, and a little via phone and text messaging.

He wants me to come visit him in Ukraine and stay with him at his parents' house. He says that he would like to have a serious relationship with me and start a family together. He said that I could also invite him to visit me if I wish...but he's been pushing for me to give him a date for coming to Ukraine.

Now...here's the thing.. He's a little over 10 years younger than me. He's only 27 years old and he's a doctor..(I've seen the pictures of him at work..so it's true). . I was rather direct with him and asked him if he was looking for a visa to the UK (where I reside when not traveling). He got a little upset, but then calmed down and said it was normal that I'd want to protect myself. He told me he has relatives in the UK, so if he wanted a visa he would just get their help.

I'm a bit confused because at the time that he first wrote to me a year ago, he had asked me if he could come visit me in Scotland and asked about my house ..how many rooms it had. That made me suspicious.

At the same time...he comes across in communicating like he really really likes me. He says that we could live in Ukraine if I like it..but he could just be saying that thinking that I might not like it. He says that the age difference doesn't matter to him at all. I asked him with so many beautiful girls in Ukraine..why did he choose me? He says that when he saw me..his heart had to work twice as fast and that his soul and body like a magnet was drawn to me and he has to be with me. He thinks I'm beautiful with a good heart and would be a good mother....

Two of my grandfathers came from Ukraine..so it is a place that I'd like to visit.

I really like hi,m but I don't want to get hurt in this... before I open up to him more and actually go visit him in Ukraine....should I be concerned? I mean is this a typical scam that a young guy in Ukraine might pull to leave the country? I'm not sure what to think.

I give many thanks to anyone that can help me with my question.

Kindest regards...
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Old 5th November 2012, 22:21
Gotno Gizmo Gotno Gizmo is offline
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Excuse my skepticism, but I would advise you to proceed with caution. I spend as much time in Ukraine as I can, and I am aware of the high number of Ukrainian females trying to find men from the west, bent on gaining an exit from Ukraine. I see no reason why the same theory cannot be applied to males. Statistically there is a high divorce rate among couples where a partner originated from former Soviet countries.

If you look through the personals section of this forum, you should find previous advice from myself and other contributors advising on the difficulties of getting fiancees or even spouses back to countries like the USA and the UK. I'm British and I was refused an entry visa for a lady who was my fiancee at that time. I know of other younger, more professional and better established Brits than myself who have also been refused visas for their loved ones.

By all means come to Ukraine, it has so much to offer except good employment prospects and high wages. I am retired and do not depend on Ukraine for my income. I also have a long lasting experience of Eastern Europe going back to the communist era, so for me life is much better here than it was before. However, if you have a narrower travel and life experience, you might find Ukraine somewhat different to your norm.

Last edited by Gotno Gizmo; 5th November 2012 at 22:23. Reason: Typo error
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Old 6th November 2012, 04:38
AkMike AkMike is offline
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Look these over and don't stray from these rules!

The Ten Commandments


1.Never send money to someone you have never met.

2.Always have a back-up plan

3.Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.

4.Always get the lady's/man's home address and home phone number as early as possible.

5.Verify the ladies/men you are writing to are real.

6.Do not fall in love with photos!!

7.Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.

8.Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.

9.Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

10.THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE/GROOM! They do not exist.
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Old 6th November 2012, 04:42
AkMike AkMike is offline
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That said, keep it very casual and go to see the country.
It's a great country full of wonderful folks.Ton's of stuff to see and do.
If something happens to work out GREAT. If not you've managed to see a part of the world that has been on your list for some time. If you have information about your grandfolks ,visit their town/village and possibly meet some reletives.
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Old 6th November 2012, 07:53
seagirl seagirl is offline
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Hello Gizmo...

Thank you very much for your reply. I have been slightly skeptical, but I've been thinking also that it would be a shame if he turns out to be a really nice man that is rare to find. Many years ago there was a wonderful Colombian guy madly in love with me and I made the mistake of thinking he wanted a visa and it turned out not to be the case at all. The Colombian and I met in person by accident one day and he was a couple of years older than me. However, this young Ukrainnian is so much younger and we met online..so..I'm being really careful. He did say that he has relatives in the UK that could help him with a visa if that's what he was after. However, I have no idea if he tried that route and it failed and didn't tell me.. Maybe he is very genuine.. I don't know..It's hard to tell. That's the problem.

Why is it so hard to bring your fiancee back to the UK or even US? What happens if you were to marry in Ukraine first? Would that help?

Thank you again for your reply.
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Old 6th November 2012, 07:54
seagirl seagirl is offline
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Hello AkMike . Thank you for your reply.

I understand the valid points you list and they are very good points. However, I didn't meet him through a marriage agency. It was a free dating website where I only signed up out of curiosity and wasn't really even looking for anything nor a Ukrainian man in particular. It just happened. He found me. I was polite to him, but kind of gave him the brush off at first ..but he was persistant. I have been with someone else, but the relationship was not going the way that I have hoped, so was on the website out of pure curiosity of what is out there.. I told him that I had somebody else..and but he kept asking me to give him a chance. So.. here we are..

So..I have never fallen in love with a photo..If anything..he fell in love with mine. We have been communicating via email, text messaging and speaking via telephone. He has sent me videos of himself and family members as well as photos including him at work..he sends me music. So..that's what's confusing as he comes across as really genuine..but due to age difference.. I'm unsure... and he had made a comment about maybe being out of Ukraine months back. ..but then he says if I were happy to live in Ukraine with him..that's fine and he just wants peace and harmony.. If he were scamming..why would he be pressing me so much to be with him and start a family? However..it could be a con..

I'm confused... I have moments of belief and moments of doubt.. He does come across as really genuine and caring. So.. I don't know.. It could be that he had first thought about looking for a way out of Ukraine..but found me and really does like me regardless.. He does have relatives in UK to help him he said.. so I don't know.. I'm scratching my head on this one.
So..thank you vey much for your reply.
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Old 6th November 2012, 08:03
AkMike AkMike is offline
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The only way to find out is to go there and meet face to face. You've got Wiz Air for some cheap seats to Kyiv and other cities.
Just do it and quit wondering "What If?"
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