I need a friend and may be something else! (I am from Lviv, but it has small values)

[Mancha_Kaminskaya]

Originally posted by Somniferous
Dear Mancha,

Before we go any further, and even before I find your picture in my mailbox, I want to make everything crystal clear:

1. For all those juicy benefits you will enjoy, you shall not fail to be kindly requested "little somethings" in return.
Free cheese sticks out of mousetraps ONLY, you know... Everything's got its price or a price equivalent.

2. I know I'm going to daunt your spirits a bit now, but I; having my scruples and principles one of which is to start speaking the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth from the very beginning to avoid subsequent highly unpleasant misunderstandings; hereby make sure you are perfectly aware and fully realize that

2a) you shall in NO case and under NO circumstance or occasion be granted a monthly allowance EXCEEDING that of $ 20,000 (twenty thousand dollars a month).
I know it's tough, I know it may be offensive, but that's a dead and certain fact and you'll have to live with it. Many women prior to you have attempted to question this stone-firm truth and paid dearly for it.
I just don't see any necessity in a combined monthly purchase of 3 Versacci or Valentino or Gucci ball gowns, 2 Tiffany diamond rings, 2 Cartier necklaces, a bunch of miscellaneous junk (i.e. antique knick-knacks like a 15-centure gilded statuette of Buddha) and a new $50,000 Chevvy!
That's bullsh*t! You will have to tighten your belt and learn how to be prudent and save money!

2b)You must, again, fully realize that I'm a man who is used to live at full sway, swing and throttle. Which certainly includes getting laid any woman I want any moment I want to get her laid. I shall NOT tolerate such filth and horsesh*t as jealousy, oversensitivity, and inferiority in the lady standing by my side! The resulting shame and disgrace the woman brings upon herself is automatically trasmitted onto my person and spotless reputation as an Honourable Member of many a respectable High Society Gentlemen's Club and Fellowship.

2c) I shall NEVER hear questions posed to me like: "Where are you going?", "When will you be back?", "Why are you doing this to me?!"
This also applies to negative emotionality : outbursts of anger, tears, hysterics, homesickness ARE ABSOLUTELY BANNED!!! Period!!!

Once these basic prerequisites are met (and I have irrefutable evidence thereof!) we can safely proceed further to step two: getting your photo into my mailbox.

MOST SINCERELY,

I don't no what to say.May I ask how old are you?..
I'll think about it. And where you can receive my foto?

[Mancha_Kaminskaya]

I mean your adress.

[ivan_ivlev]

Originally posted by Mancha_Kaminskaya:
"I don't no what to say."

Great. This is what I call laconicism.

ivan_ivlev

[Mancha_Kaminskaya]

Originally posted by ivan_ivlev
Originally posted by Mancha_Kaminskaya:
"I don't no what to say."

Great. This is what I call laconicism.

ivan_ivlev

Thanks at all.
Mancha.

[ARMSTRONG]

DEAR MARY,

U NEED A FRIEND, & MAY BE SOMETHING ELSE.

AS A FRIEND CAN I ASK U 2 EXPLAIN WHAT IS 'SOMETHING ELSE', JUST FOR FUN & FRIENDSHIP BUILDING.

WHY DO U WRITE, THAT Lviv HAS SMALL VALUES.

PLZ. DON'T MIND MY ASKING ALL THIS. I LOVE 2 TALK 2 FRENDS ON EVEN TOPICS THAT COME IN FRONT. I HAVE READ UR OTHER E-MAILS, WOW......... U R SO ACTIVE & INTELLIGENT THAT I COULD NOT GUESS. I'LL DEFINATELY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH U.

JUST NOW I DON'T WANA TALK ABOUT YOUR BEAUTY, FIGURE ETC ETC. U UNDERSTAND. IF U R BEAUTIFUL FROM INSIDE THEN NOTHING LIKE THAT.

C YA.

ARMSTRONG.

[Somniferous]

Mancha,

How about meeting the pre-requisites?

Love,

[Somniferous]

Manchunia,

It has just dawned upon me that I may have been inopportunely intrusive, indiscreet and too hasty jumping over to the issues of intimate relationship, living together, and common budget.

The topic of your thread indicates that you want JUST to make FRIENDS, perhaps pen-pals or phone-pals. Just broaden your socializing scope. (You also mentioned "something more", but I am not (or at least should not be)in a position to make hasty conclusions as to what you meant by that.)

And here I am -- hurling my indecent liaison proposals, impudently poking into your privacy, apparently overindulging in close-relationship advances, in a word -- imposing myself and my more than "friend-to-friend" auspices on you whilst all you may actually be looking for -- is striking a couple or two of casual friendships with NO obligations assumed by either party.

If any offense taken or misunderstandings caused, I would like to deeply and sincerely apologize. I would, however, appreciate your clarification of the subject, explaining your geniune intent and outlook.

Maybe, my fears and concerns are misconstrued and ungrounded at all, who knows?