Practical Pointers for New Members

[Foggy]

This is going to be long, people, so sit back and relax. I make a practice of observing, and these are observations based on my six-week presence on these boards. Some of them reflect mistakes I made early on. I am splitting this post because of the length.

Seven Practical Pointers √ Part 1

1. CAUTION. Enter cautiously. You are joining an established community where some people have known each other for months or years. Take time just reading and listening in until you learn the existing relationships and conflicts. Get to know people before you start blasting away. Don▓t do as I did, and jump to conclusions that may prove to be unfounded. If you think you have a serious beef with someone, take to private email before going public. That way you are sure you understand what is going on. (I learned THIS one the hard way.)

2. COURTESY. This IS a public forum. Respect each other. Many times what appears as unkindness on someone▓s part is in truth a reflection of an existing affectionate relationship. Third party involvement complicates things. Take care to express yourself in a non-judgmental way, however forcefully you may feel about the topic. Maintain respect for the opinions of others, no matter how strongly you disagree with them. This is no place for hatred.

3. CLEAN. Since this IS a public place, keep in mind that children are apt to log on at any time and read what is written. If there are mature topics discussed, keep the language as general and metaphorical as possible. Use euphemisms for body parts, body functions, and adult activities. It is a lot more fun to read between the lines and say ⌠Oh, yeah!■ than to have everything spelled out. If you want to talk explicitly, there are adult Boards and Chatrooms for that purpose √ but this is not one of them.

Continued....

[This message has been edited by Foggy (edited 30 March 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Foggy (edited 28 May 2000).]

[Foggy]

Seven Practical Pointers -- continued

4. CONTEXT. Keep a sense of perspective. This is not ⌠real life,■ it is just a place for people to share ideas, exchange gentle gibes, and sometimes have a nice, hot argument √ but all in fun. Understand that everything here has a context, either in the person▓s life who posted, or in his/her relationship with someone else. If you don▓t know the context, you can▓t really understand what is going on. Also, keep in mind that much here is simply BULL┘ several persons will argue either side or both sides of an issue just to get something going, sometimes using various identities.

5. COURAGE. This a diverse group of people, and anything you say is subject to criticism, dissection, and challenge. Have courage if you state a deeply held conviction, or share personal information, and don▓t be surprised or dismayed if someone jumps on you. You may be attacked because you have hit someone▓s hot button. Often it is not personally directed at you, but is someone▓s way of making their point, using your post. If you come into the kitchen, expect some heat.

6. CLASS. By this I mean to maintain a certain level of decorum that befits ladies and gentlemen involved in civilized discourse. Here again, it is good to observe caution (see #1) and be sure you understand what the norms of behavior are before becoming too vocal. Be classy rather than trashy! You can say almost anything as long as you use the right language.

7. COMPASSION. Realize that most of the people here are really kind, loving people √ who also have strong opinions and express themselves forcefully. Let us be compassionate toward each other, no matter how much we disagree. Each of us has his/her own share of trouble, hurt, and pain. Let▓s keep that in mind, and not add to anyone▓s load. We are here FOR each other, not to hurt each other.

Folks, Foggy is a messed-up puppy just like the rest of you, who comes here to play, flirt, tease, argue, and sometimes just for company. Let▓s lower the heat and shed a little more light, shall we? And, please feel free to add to these or to correct me if I am wrong. I am teachable above all things.

With great respect for all of you...
Foggy

[This message has been edited by Foggy (edited 30 March 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Foggy (edited 28 May 2000).]

[andrewblow]

Bravo, Brother Foggy ! I endorse everything you say. However, I thought a good sermon should only have 3 point - all beginning with 'P'. However, you prove me wrong again !!!

These boards have been a great enlightenment to me over the last few weeks and I thank everyone who has enrichened my life and experience. I also have diametrically opposed views to some participants, but simply to engage in conversation is rewarding in itself. For instance, to hear from Bill that he was worried about my spiritual health, was quite an emotional experience (I mean it Bill), when I had tried to 'Prove' to him that my faith in what I believe was stronger than life and death put together.....just shows that these boards can be real fun, in addition to just about every other use conceivable.

LONG MAY IT CONTINUE
God bless you Foggy, Man - with U all the way!

[Lilly]

Peace Brother Love!

LillyNomad

[singleinwiusa]

Thanks foggy. I hope I have been within these guides. Even though I have been "on line" and here for a short time, I enjoy this "place" very, very much. As for bull, I excpected that from what you here about chatrooms, but my words, like my life, are from my heart and are the truth.
Thanks and Hi to all

[johnstruthers]

Foggy, you just gave us some valuable lessons drawn from humility and decency. We shine a little more when we're operating with those principles in force.

[beata]

And that's why I love Foggy!

Just one more advice - while posting a reply or a new topic, keep a smile on your face! Let's make it a happy place here, even while fighting!