War between Canada and Russia.

[B_Ungaro]

I just got the word from inside sources that
Canada is about to declare war on Russia. Details are not complete , but from what I have been told, it is very serious. This is what has happened. The Russians have been trying to improve on their heard of BEEF CATTLE. They figured that the TEXAS LONGHORN
cross bread with the NATIVE RUSSIAN CATTLE
would produce the perfect bread. To this end, they have been buying LONGHORN BULLS from TEXAS. To transport the BULLS they have been sending these HUGE RUSSIAN PLANES to HOUSTON.
The BULLS would be individually crated and loaded aboard the planes and after they cleared customs off they would go to RUSSIA.
One load of 150 these BULLS arrived at the HOUSTON airport un-crated. The RUSSIANS were running low on VODKA and they did not want to wait around to have he BULLS properly crated. They tied the BULLS to cargo tie-downs, cleared customs and off they went.
Well, LONGHORNS are not very friendly under normal conditions, you load them on an airplane and they become flat out hostile.
By the time they were over Canada several BULLS have broken their tie downs. They started to chase the RUSSIANS cargo personnel around in the cargo area. It was not a pretty site. The BULLS, being irate as they were, started to attack the airplane as well. Several holes were punctured in the
fuselage with their horns. Naturally, this meant that the airplane could not maitain
pressurization. They had to do something. More and more BULLS were breaking loose.
The Captain made the decission that he would fly out over the ocean, open the rear cargo door, un-tie all the BULLS, put the airplane into a steep climb and the BULLS would all go sliding out of the airplane. Sounded like a good plan and they executed it to perfection. He did not realize that Canadian coastal waters are full of fishing boats this time of the year. You can imagine the look on the poor fishermans face when they looked up to see this low flying cargo plane unloading 150 TEXAS LONGHORN BULLS
right over their fleet of boats. Several boats were sunk by the BULLS that landed on them. Some boats were further terrorized by the BULLS that landed in the water near the boats and somehow climbed up on the boats and started to chase the poor fisherman around. The CANADIAN COAST GUARD is still looking for survivors. The RUSSIAN denied any of their airplanes being in the area.
Luckily, sombody wrote down the tail number of the RUSSIAN plane. CANADA has given the RUSSIANS until noon tomorrow to accept the
responsibily and agree to make restitution.
If the RUSSIANS fail to do so, CANADA will be at war with RUSSIA. Things are not looking good for the RUSSIANS.

[Lilly]

Seems like a lot of bull, bill. April Fools.
heheheh! You kill me! Where do you come up with this stuff? LMAO!!

LillyNomad

[This message has been edited by Lilly (edited 01 April 2000).]

[Lilly]

Oh Bill my love, still laughing my ass off a day later!!!!! You are a BullWriter...wink

I read in the paper today that Canada will retalliate by bombing Moscow with giant beavers. The end result will be that the Moscow River will be dammed and overflow its banks and flood Red Square causing tourism to drop that would add to the economic collapse.

L'ilNomad

[StasUA]

Canada cannot be seriously taken as a "thread" to someone... It is a big and friendly country. But its size does not mean its strong and got many people, Canadian population is very small...

[Lilly]

You are right Stas. We have a piddling Navy and Airfarce erm, Airforce. Didn't you know that the Americans see us part of the contigious United States?

By the way Stas honey, the previous postings by Unagaro and myself were a hoax. April Fools.

L'il naughty Nomad

[ricknorth]

I hope Canada shoots to kill, every frickin' one of 'em.

[provider]

Originally posted by ricknorth
I hope Canada shoots to kill, every frickin' one of 'em.

your talking about bulls right???