Some funny quotes !!!!

[jutka]

Originally posted by BenCA
Why is that Jutka

It just struck me as the funniest one. And I can just picture Williams saying it too, with a deadpan face.

[ricknorth]

My ol' lady met me at the door with a big hug, and said, "Rick, I'm so lucky to meet a man like you...his name is Steve!!!". She hailed a cab and went off to Steve's.
-Rick North

In Russia, 20 year old woman speaks 3 languages, has 3 college degrees. In America, 20 year old woman has 3 kids.
-Rick North

Surprisingly the best place to pick up women is Cairo, Egypt. They stone women for committing adultery there. Just go to the clubs and look for the women with the bandages on their heads; its like shooting fish in a barrel.
-Rick North

I went out on a date with an annorexic woman. She kissed me goodnite, and I went in the bathroom and threw-up.
-Rick North

For the first time in about 20 years I went to a high school football game; very different. A student sitting right behind me in the bleachers had one of those loud, annoying noisemaker thingies. What are they called?.....Oh yeah, A GUN!!!
-Rick North

I've noticed traveling across our great country the varying drinking habits of our citizens. In Tennessee and Arkansas the folks living there really do drink Moonshine. In New York and LA the people drink wine. In Wisconsin and Minnesota the people drink....EVERYDAY!!!
-Rick North

[nine_lives]

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"

They forgot to say from other peopel's children.

(It works in reverse with your own: whenever I was feeling bad I used to cuddle up to my baby and I'd feel better. I recommend having children to everyone! )