I am Ukrainain, currently living in the US

[princessalla]

I am 24 Ukrainian female, came to USA on fiancee visa and have been living here for two months. My message is for those girls who are going to do the same crazy thing. Please, make sure you know the person you are going to live with before you actually go. If you have any questions about life here, I will be happy to answer. Anyway, I am coming back pretty soon.

[ricknorth]

Are things going well for you? How does your American partner treat you?

Please, be helpful to us all and discuss with us your experience, so far.

[MidwayDave]

ricknorth

If she is coming back pretty soon then maybe things didn't go so well.

[princessalla]

I am dependent on him about everything here, and I dont' have any rights, he called INS and they told him that he could send me back any time, like I am a package or something
He is posessive and selfish, and very insecure with himself. Sometimes he can be really nice and understanding and the next day we would argue really bad. It freaks me out and I feel that I am becoming jumpy in general. I just can't live like that any more, he makes me feeling guilty all the time and I am doing nothing wrong, I am a perfect wife - cooking, cleaning, washing, etc.
Actually, INS gave me 3 months to decide if I want to marry this person and I think my decision will be negative.
But America is a great place to live in, it is so welcoming and friendly. I got a job in Victoria's Secret store as a sales specialist and everyone loves me there. such a pity i have to leave, I would of done my career with this company. But to survive here you must speak the language, though. Mine is much better since I came here, I am picking up the pronunciation and new words really fast, which is a good thing.
I will be happy to answer any questions, feel free to ask me about anything, guys.

[Irinka]

I'm sorry you had to go through this terrible experience, I wish there was a way of helping you somehow...
I'm originally from Odessa and I have been living in Toronto, Canada for 13 years.
The company you work for must really like you, if you want to stay in US, you have to ask your company whether they would be willing to give you a document of guaranteed work for the next 6-12 months. With this you can apply to the US immigration to stay. There must be a way, there are a lot of immigration councellors who will willingly help you out for free. Unfortunately I'm not living in US and I don't know US immigration laws, but I have a way of finding all the info you need if you really want it.
I hope you are not completely alone and I really hope that you are safe in the house that you live in.
Let me know if you need any kind of help, we could figure something out, there are still some nice people left on this site, we could put our heads together.

Irina

P.S. If you like, you can e-mail me at odessitka@canada.com

[ricknorth]

if you punch in "fiancee" plus "visa", or "immigration" plus "law", you get a lot of immigration lawyers in your web search. Maybe one can help you stay.

Your husband is in control. He threatens to send you back. But, after expense and trouble of bringing you here, he probably wouldn't. He is immature to threaten you.

If you can be friendly til he is passed time to send you back, then, you will be in control. Divorce him. Any documented physical abuse by him will determine that you get his house and everything he owns.

If there is physical abuse now, call the police.

I know of many church organizations that would sponsor you to stay if there is physical abuse and you have to divorce.

If no physical abuse, be tough, hang in there, USE HIM!!! God yes, use him. He used you.

Or, maybe counseling will help him to be the good husband he promised to be originally.

Tell us more.

[Edited by ricknorth on 27th December 2001 at 12:02]

[princessalla]

Actually, we are not married yet, that's why I am hesitating if i should stay here. I have one month left to decide if I want to marry him or go home.
We live in a small town Riverside, I don't know how many miles from LA it is. I don't have a car, so I couldn't go to the Embassy or INS office by myself. Besides, he is not rich at all, he doesn't have a house, even the car he drives is on his mom's name. So I have nothing to win.
Once he got really drunk and started arguing and pushed me really hard, so I fell down on the floor and had a bruse on my hip. I called his mom, she picked me up with all my things and I spend 5 days at her place. All his family was on my side and everyone told him all kind of stuff about his treating me. His mom said if he ever lays his finger on me, he would regret about it for the rest of his life. I didn't call police, because he has a 6 yo son who he sees every second week end and I knew he could lose his child support. But next time he does something like that, I will do it. I don't think he will though.
I am afraid, my fiancee visa is really strict and I can't find the way out. Even if I am employed and they apply for me, it won't work out. The thing is I have to get married or go home, and i have only one month left.
Maybe you could fing the site with the law about it and find out if someone have done it before. Problem is I am not married and don't have any rights.
I am working really hard, but this is a seasonal job and they don't pay too much. All the money I earn go on food and paying the bills, I can't even buy anything for myself, it is considered to blow the money. If I stay here by myself, I wont' survive without the car and place to live, everything is very expencive.
Anyway, thank you for your support and, who knows, maybe you will find some story about the girl who did it, it would inspire me.
Oh, by the way, he is really suspicious, he installed the program KEYLOCKER, which remembers every page I go to on the Internet, even every key I push on the computer, even the backspace. I have to delete the" evidence" ) I dont know, maybe there is another one which I dont know about and he will khow everything I am doing here. He cracked my yahoo account before, that's why I cannot write directly to you, Irinka. I am sorry.