Sorry, My Name Is Not Fyodor Dostoyevsky

[Orikinla]

When the Honeymoon is Over

I am sitting here on the wc seat thinking aloud. I have no father and I have no mother. They are dead. Long dead. And I am not married and no child. No. I am not scared of marriage. I love women as I loved my mother. May her peaceful soul rest in peace. She was one of a kind. My own Mother Theresa. Women are not the problems in this world. Of course the devil is not a woman. Jezebel was a woman? Because King Ahab was a coward and a fool and he was not man enough to discipline the stubborn wife. This is not why I am still here in the closet. But, I am bothered by so many existential issues that we often misunderstand and that is why I want to pass them out. And I have a deodorant here just in case it begins to stink. My festering thorns are pricking my heart and soul. I am speaking from the closet of my heart. Just reason with me for a moment, please.

There are millions of women all over the world today who are wondering, ⌠where is all the love we once enjoyed?■ in their love affairs and marriages.

Men, who promised heaven on earth to woo their women, now boo them.

The honeymoon is over. Finis?

The man who was taking you to all the popular restaurants during courtship, now hardly takes you out to even the nearest cafe.

When was the last time you took your wife to the beach or to the park?

I know a cousin who does not walk with the wife on the street any longer. Is she ugly? No. She is not at all. She could pass for a black Venus. She is all big and beautiful.

Where have all the roses gone? DonБ─≥t ask me. Ask him!

I believe the romance should not end after the honeymoon. In fact, the marriage should now be more enjoyable.

Please, return all the missing kisses and buy her more roses.

Please, if you know you are not going to make her happy all the rest of her days, don▓t marry her. Save her from the misery of a loveless marriage.

A man recently punched his wife to death in Northern Nigeria.

I also have a friend who once practiced his Karate on the wife.

A woman is always caught in Adultery. Where is the man? Such absurdity annoys me. It is great injustice against women.

Lesbians and Single Women

Talking of lesbians or single women? Ask them if they are happy without a man.

No woman can be really happy without a man.

My mother was a grass widow during the Nigerian civil war and later, she was a widow for 10 years before she died in an auto-accident whilst on her way to work to earn wages to take care of six children.

My father was a randy handsome man and he was seeing other women behind my mother▓s back. Poor woman. And she gave all her life to love a man that her wealthy family never wanted her to marry. Because, they did not welcome the fact that he was from a lower class. He did not fulfill all the promises he made to my mother.

I have been with widows and I have been with battered women. My cousin was pregnant when her husband kicked her whilst beating her and she died. He was not prosecuted and he remarried. Finis. But, I am still missing my cousin. Are you male or female? Are you single or married? Are you available for me to prove it practically?

Are you a feminist?

I love women more than men. Left to women, there would have been no Holocaust.

If not for Yuliya and the other women in Ukraine, Yushchenko would have lost the battle.

I thank God for Women.

The ratio of women to men in China is not a good yardstick to also assume that my statement is wrong.

Every woman needs a man is not an assumption, but fact of life that has been proved even in the animal kingdom.

For every woman, there is always the yearning for a man in a day, in a month or in a year. Who will deny the need for warmth in the heat of summer? Ask any woman who has active senses of her organs in sensuality or sexuality.

A woman without a man wets her pillows once in a while. A woman without a man fondles herself once in a while yearning for the touch of a man.

Find me a woman who says she does not need a man, and I will show you a woman who has been deprived or depraved. Please, empathize with her. And see yourself going through the motions of her emotions.

She rolled over She was tired of sleeping with her. She was feeling cold, real cold. Sharon was by her side.

She did not want her now She knew that one day she would bow She longed for the warmth she had never had for long. All lovers knew the heartstrings of the song.

She was in the heat of summer and only a man could drive...

Continuation of Sorry, My Name Is Not Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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