Worlds worst joke...

[stepanstas]

i wasnt talking about the saying, they were alright, i was talking about the first thing. the long one

[dobko]

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Kentucky Sheriffs



Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense...

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and egistration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"


Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law, License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."

Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the deputy takes out his night stick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says:

"Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

[nickcsadler]

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close
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>to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the
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>inevitable, when all of a sudden......."Hey Pepe, do you smell what
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>I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet". "Si, Luis, eet smells like
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>bacon to meee". So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the
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>next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded
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>with bacon.
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>There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back
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>bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat
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>can imagine!!
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>"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree". "Luis, are sure ees
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>not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget". "Pepe, when deed
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>ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a
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>tree".
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>And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5
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>metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a
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>It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is,
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>he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
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>"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
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>"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
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>"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
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>Ees.....
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>Ees.....
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>Ees..............................
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>Ees, a Ham Bush"

[ukebandit]

an old babushka lady studies 10 years for her citizenship. all well,but she has to answer three history questions. i how many senators from a stat? she answers 2,correct. how many states in the Union? 50,correct pania... 3rd question who was the first president of the USA? the babushka lady is stumped she hems and haws frustration grows,anger,resentment..finally in exasperation she looks biterrly at the clerk ans say..Chort Vaschemo..the clerk replies congratulations you passed.