For the Ladies.......

[dobko]

For my better half.......

I'm still chuckling.....enjoy!


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of North Carolina."

And they say blondes are dumb . . .
_______________________


A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you . . ."
______________________


"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower,
"Honey, what do you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________


He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to
you really badly.
She said - "Well, you succeeded."
_____________________


He said - "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said - That's a good idea . . . you stand by the ironing board while
I sit on the sofa and fart. _______________________


He said - "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you?"
She said - "Turn sideways and look in the mirror ."
_____________________


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_______________________


A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because
they had been such
a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. Whoosh!
Immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!!!
_________________


AND THE BEST ONE YET . . .

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton!!



A FINAL PRAYER . . . .

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man
Love to forgive him
And Patience for his moods
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN