The Andrew thread...

[dobko]

There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man
with his pants down.

[dobko]

CATHOLIC LADIES



Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how
important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he
walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say
'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard bodied, well hung, Male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "My God...."

[andrewblow]

What is it I'm supposed to have done ????

Far too much work on to chase nuns....and I go on holiday saturday, so do you have any other 'Andrew's in mind ??

Andrew the English Knight. (You can't run in armour )

[dobko]

[lenire]

Andrew, Have fun............................Len

[dobko]

A little boy was sitting on the curb
with a gallon of turpentine and
shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A little while later a Priest came along
and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy replied,

"This is the most powerful liquid in the world,
it's called turpentine."

The Priest said,

"No, the most powerful liquid in the world
is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water
and rub it on a pregnant women's belly,
she'll pass a healthy baby."

The little boy replied,

"You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass
a Harley Davidson."

[dobko]

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river.
Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."


Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.


Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river."


Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.