Laugh A Little

[Colesy]

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for
over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said,
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic
change in his behaviour, the bird continued, "May I ask what
the turkey did?"

[dobko]

Three thumbs up!

[Rajkumar]

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I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.then

I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack .

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God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.


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Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.

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The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers
too.

If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on
you?


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Roses are red, Violets are blue

monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

not in cage but laughing at you.

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When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to

free u from darkness and if after you pray and
your

still in darkness, please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !

[Colesy]

They are good, I have copied them to my funnies bin for future reference.

[Rajkumar]

Greetings Colesy,
Hope you like this.

A man was boasting to his friend, "You know, I am a well known collector of antiques."
His friend replied," Yes I know, I have seen your wife."


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Then there was this ten-year old child who shot both his parents and pleaded with the judge for mercy because he was an orphan.


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The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?"


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Young Man: Would you like to dance with me?
Young Woman: Do you expect me to dance with a baby!
Young Man: I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were pregnant.


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Doctor : We operated on your eyes and we've managed to save one of them.
Patient: Oh, thank you very much.
Doctor : Yes, we'll give it to you on your way out.


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"I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor."
"Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it?"
"Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."


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Court scene:


1st Lawyer: You're a fool.
2nd Lawyer: And you're a damn fool.
Judge : As the learned lawyers have now identified each other, can we now proceed with the case.


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The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."


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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


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An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Damn", says the ant, "one night of passion and I"ll spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"


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During his trip to Hawai, Bill Gates was horrified to find a fisherman lying beside his boat, smoking his pipe. "Why aren't you fishing ? asked Bill Gates.
"Because I have caught enough fish for the day".
"Why don't you catch some more?".
"What could I do with them?".
"Earn more money. Then you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper waters and catch more fish. That would bring you more money. Soon you would have enough to buy nylon nets, so more fish, more money .Soon you would have enough to buy two boats even a fleet of boats. Then you would go rich like me".
"What would I do then?".
"Then you could sit back and enjoy life".
"What do you think I am doing now?"

[Holly_v2]

Funny

[dobko]

Originally posted by Holly_v2
Funny

Hi ya Holly! How's things?