Marriage is a strange phenomenon

[Rajkumar]

that happens to human beings. And the best part is, both the unmarried and the married are unhappy, though for radically opposite reasons, one for not being married, and the other for being married.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.


When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.


My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.


A husband said to his wife,
"No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."





A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."


The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.


Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.


How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.


A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."


A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."


A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.


Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.


Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.


Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute


Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!


First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.


Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.


When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car
is new or the wife.


Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After
marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Bachelors should pay more taxes, they enjoy a better quality of life.

Marriage is a three ring circus:
engagement ring
wedding ring
suffering

[theja]

Was it Oscar Wilde....? Well, someone said, MARRIAGE IS THE PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT OF A SECRET INTENTION.

[Rajkumar]

Well said theja,"Wife Is The Lord Of Rings".

In Hollwood all the mariages are happy.It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems."
Shelley Winters.

There is one thing in the world worse than being talked about,and that is not being talked about."
Oscar Wilde

[Rajkumar]

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy


GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...


GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??


GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple


GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??




BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??


BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??


SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.


MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.


WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.


MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.


Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

[Rajkumar]

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.
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Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.
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One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.
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The easiest way to make your old car run well, is to check the prices of a new car.
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It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.
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If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
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A man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
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A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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Marriage is like a cage; those outside are desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
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By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...
and that is a good thing for any man.
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Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the 'Y'becomes silent.
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Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with, only marry someone that you cannot live without.
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
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