WORDS OF WISDOM

[dobko]

- The kind of danger most people enjoy is the kind they can watch from a safe place.



- Never argue with a fool - people may not be able to tell the difference.



- Toast lands jelly side down. If you jelly both sides of a piece of toast, will it hover in a state of quantum indecision?

[BlueandGold]

When a man does wrong but sees no shame,
he will soon know, without notice, he is out of toilet paper.

When a nation does wrong but sees no shame,
the toilet paper runs out, only official text is left.

When official text does wrong, bums must be raw and need a good wipe.

[Rajkumar]

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage

Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

[Rajkumar]

Shopping Mathematics

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

[Rajkumar]

General Equations and Statistics

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

[nickcsadler]

The Ferrari formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The
announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK
governments youth opportunity scheme and employ people from Liverpool.
The decision to hire them was brought on a recent documentary on how
unemployed youths from Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less
than 6 Seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only
do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment.

Prime minister, Tony Blair, went on record as saying this was a bold move the
Ferrari management, which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under new labour.
As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari now have the advantage
over every team. However, Ferrari may have got more than they bargained for.

At the crews first practice session the Liverpool pit crew successfully
changed the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had
re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for 8
bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower.

[Rajkumar]

Discussion Technique

A woman has the last word in any arguement.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new arguement.