WORDS OF WISDOM

[Canadian_Grizzly_Bear]

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship
between Brian and Stephanie,and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react,Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying
"Ever since your mother came to visit us I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her a e-mail just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you "did"
take the gravy ladle from our house,
and I'm am not saying that you "did not"
take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that this one
has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
Brian

Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie,
and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own
bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,
Mom

[dobko]

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

[dobko]

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.







How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.







Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.







Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.







Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?





Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.







If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?







You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.







Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.







Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.







We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.







A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.







Have an awesome day, and
know that someone
who thinks you're great
has thought about you today!..







"And that person was me.".....
Please don't keep this message
to yourself.....send it to those
who mean so much to you.... "NOW"..

Working for God on earth does not pay much,

but His Retirement plan is out of this world.

[Hannia]

"When you buy cheap, you pay twice."