Vancouver has a chance....

[dobko]

NOW THAT VANCOUVER HAS WON THE CHANCE TO HOST THE 2010 WINTER OLYMPICS, THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME OF THE QUESTIONS PEOPLE THE WORLD OVER ARE ASKING. THESE QUESTIONS WERE ACTUALLY POSTED ON AN INTERNATIONAL WEBSITE!!!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver?
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax?
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada?
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada?
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada?
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada?
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population?
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of big horse with horns.
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[Ulysses]

On the sixth day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God, "just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them."

[theja]

Canadians do live in the PROMISED LAND. Often they are also called God's frozen people....

[Holly_v2]

Too funny! Hey, we finally got some snow yesterday! I wasn't sure we were going to see it this year. I'm sure it caused great amusement for rest of Canada!

[V-G]

well... its been snowing most of the day today and the forecast ... I guess we'll see .

Dobber, VERY FUNNY!!! MAN!!