Blonde jokes

[nickcsadler]

TWO BLONDES
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking. And one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is
farther away, Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you
see
Florida?"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling
smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her
very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river
and
sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How
can
I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river
and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side!"

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and
said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and
screamed; then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She
pushed
her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to
his
flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on
his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back; "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
the
sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook
their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"
said
the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can
you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded
by
saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend
said,
"Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooooo......,"
answered the blond. "They're watch dogs."

[Rajkumar]

Greetings nickcsadler,

Schoolgirl : I do not want to take the sex Education class.
Teacher : Why?
School girl : Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral.

[nickcsadler]

Welcome back Raj... I pray that all is well with you and your family...

[benda]

I like jokes but I don't like a fact blondes are always stupid there. I'm a boy but it's like ahair-colour discrimination, I think. One's intellect doesn't depend of what colour of hair they have.

[nickcsadler]

I agree..however I think you could substitute any hair colour and I think there would be a stereotype that would fit the bill...

[benda]

Yes. You just have to replace a blonde with "a human", and that's it.

[nickcsadler]

Absolutely correct.. for someone so young(I don`t mean that as an insult..far more as a compliment) you truly have wisdom that many much older would love to have...