Joke

[Rajkumar]

Joke 1:
Once Mr.Bean asked a guy,"Until where have you studied?"
The guy replied in a very snobbish way,"B.A!"
Then Mr.Bean thought,"Blady fool has studied only 2 words and that also in a wrong sequence!!!!!"

Joke 2:
MR.Bean in France called his wife who was living in London but the maid answered the phone.

Mr.Bean: Helo, pls give the phone to madam.

Maid: Sir, she is sleeping with her husband.

Mr.Bean:What?????Then who the hell am I ???

Maid: How would I know sir??

Mr.Bean: Ok, fine!! Now take the gun in the kitchen drawer and shoot madam with it.Then you come back and I will tell you what to do.

Maid: Sir, its done. Now what do I do with the body???

Mr.Bean: Go to the balcony and throw it from up to the ground floor!!!!

Maid: But sir, our house is at the ground floor.

Mr.Bean: Sorry, mine is at the 10th floor!!!!!!!


Joke 3:
Mr.Bean went for an english test. When it was over, his friends asked him how the test went on.Mr.Bean said,"It was ok but for the past tense of THINK, I thought and thought and thought and I put THUNK!!!!!!

[andrewblow]

I'm not one for knowing lots of jokes - but I sure enough love reading them......

Andrew

[Rajkumar]

Greetings Sir Andrewblow,
How are you?

COLOR TV
Mr.Bean is buying a TV. Do you have color TVs?

Sure.

Give me a green one, please.
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LONG FLIGHT

Mr.Bean calls British Airways. How long does it take to fly to London?

Just a sec, comes an answer.Thank you. says the Mr.Bean and hangs up!
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Drunken Driving

Mr.Bean was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just before the
trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel
on his table and shouted, Order, order.

Mr.Bean immediately responded, Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch
and soda.

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Mr.Bean went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, Doctor,
will I be able to read after wearing glasses?
Yes, of course, said the doctor, why not!
Oh! How nice it would be , said Mr.Bean with joy, I have been illiterate for
so long.

[dobko]

A pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk , he asked "Where do you want to go?" "HEAVEN!" cried out Suzy. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the pastor. "DEAD!" yelled out Johny.

[Rajkumar]

A man walks in to a library and asks "Where are the books
on suicide?"
The librarian Mr.Bean says "Down that aisle, then left then right."
So he follows Mr.Bean's instructions but he could not find what he
was looking for. So he goes back to the Mr.Bean and he takes
him down the aisle and goes left and than right and the
books were not there. "I'm sorry," Mr.Bean says "those damn
people never bring them back.






Terrorists
There was Mr.Bean and his friend John as bombers. They
had to place a time bomb in order to explode a building. So
they were going on their destination in a car. On their way
John asked Mr.Bean, "Mr.Bean what will happen if the time
bomb explodes in this car itself." Mr.Bean replied
"Don't worry, I have a spare one!!!!!







Mr.Bean with Red ears
Mr.Bean with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."








Train Journey

Once a Mr.Bean with his long beard was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 pounds to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 pounds, Mr.Bean deserved more service. So, when Mr.Bean fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived,Mr.Bean was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 pounds and woken up someone else"








Waiter

Mr.Bean went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Mr.Bean called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this?' 'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if I ate my meal here. I only work in this place.






New House
John meets Mr.Bean
John: "so have you moved to a new house"
Mr.Bean: "No."
John: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
Mr.Bean: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".









Marathon Race
One day Mr.Bean happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the Mr.Bean.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed Mr.Bean.








Ladies Room
While at the college Mr.Bean happened to watch the notice board.
It reads: Invites suggestions for the modification of Ladies Room.
Mr.Bean writes under
Let the Men Permit to Enter

[dobko]

A father picked his young son up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted that day, he asked his son if he got a part. The youngster enthusiastically announced that he had. "I play a part of a man who's been married 20 years." "That's great son. Keep up the good work... and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."

[Rajkumar]

Mr.Bean and the donkey

Having lost his donkey Mr.Bean, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?"

Mr.Bean replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding
the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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Mr.Bean and Binocular

While travelling Mr.Bean was carrying a binocular with him.
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying
binoculars.

Mr.Bean simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."

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One day Mr.Bean's neighbor visits him and sees Mr.Bean crying.
The neighbour: What had happened?
Mr.Bean: My mother died yesterday.
The neighbor made him some coffee and settled him down a little and then left. The next day the same neighbor
went back over to the house and found Mr.Bean crying again.
The neighbour: Why are you crying today Mr.Bean?
Mr.Bean: I just got off of the phone with my brother, his mother died too.

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TRAIN TO Paris

Mr.Bean and John are in a railwaystation. John
asks the clerk: Can I take this train to Paris?

No, answers the Railway man.

Can I? asks Mr.Bean.