The Love Letter of Misha (aka Soviet Union) to the Fair Maid of the Ukraine

[Halina]

The Love Letter of an Unwanted Suitor - Misha (aka Soviet Union)to the Fair Maid of the Ukraine.

Dearest,

I think about you constantly. Every morning and every night I check the internet in the hope of finding some message from my fair lady, whose golden tresses and bluebottle eyes haunt my dreams whenever I eat, drink or do shopping in the local supermarket.

I wanted to make you all mine, to surround you by my mighty gas pipes and to adorn you with the immortal name of RUSSIA. Yet you, you ungrateful Ukraine stabbed me in my heart by saying; 'Marriage with you would be the first step to divorce.' How could you say something so cruel - you flirtatious coquette!. You claim that you are Russian Orthodox Christian but you sleep with anti-Russian Polish nationalist extremists (on the matter of sugar coating, I have yet to see you go against the Poles). Don't deny now. I know you do!

'Oh Woman, Thy name is frailty!'.

The yellow leaves are falling down and the orange like moon peers inside my window. Maybe it is the beer talking, but your image just won't quit my mind. Oh, my darling Ukraine, I just wanted to be your Marcus Antonius and you my faithful Cleopatra, and together we'd make an empire of Russian brethren, full of gas pipes and the Trident engraved on every tree. And what did you say? That 'life is not a mixture of Anna Karenina and Juri Gagarin!'

How merciless is your pretty mouth!

Your place is at home - with me, Ukraine! I will knock the feminist rubbish out of your head. And for what are you betraying your own heart? For the sake of being some 21-s century suffragette?? For the right to VOTE? You say you would like to remain free for a while, but you are not Emmeline Pankhurst! You are MINE!

Remember Ukraine; one of those days no one will take you off the shelf and you'll be a SPINSTER forever. only I - Russia can make you happy.

Your everloving Misha

[mishaaverko]

Halina

Revisionist literature to match your revisionist history. I personally know many Ukrainians who share my consensus of unity. They consider you Poles to be the unwanted suiter with questionable ambitions.

Keep crediting me with words that I would never phrase in the manner that you attribute to me.

Even this guy StasUA says that Ukraine is Russia and that the Riuriks moved the capital north.