Each of us has a story to tell.

[Irena]

Non-alcoholic beer is the first step to a rubber woman.

[Stephen_Bailey]

Irena, you are a "diamond" I could not agree more. Ha!!!

Well. I'm a "drunk" and proud of it I LOVE alcohol.
I guess most people on this site are actually American ??
Here in "Great" Britain we have to pay $20!!!!!!!!! for a bottle of Vodka.
For me, Ukraine is a Paradise. The most beautiful women in the world - and Vodka costs less than ORANGE JUICE!!!!
10 Griven a bottle. Wow !!!!!!!!

However !!!!!! I HATE drunk-drivers; even though I used to be one. Here's my "cautionary Tale".

( And it's true !! )

I used to drink & drive all the time. I thought it was hilarious.
One night I came out of a night-club, so pissed-up I could hardly stand and got into my car.
I had to drive with a hand over one eye, as I was seeing 'double'.
Suddenly, I realised a motorcycle cop was following me.
Then the f.....g blue light came on - and I 'knew' my life was about to go down the toilet. Car, career,GIRL; everything.

I stopped and he could tell instantly that I was drunk.
He got out the breathalyser and I was just about to 'blow' when he had an "emergency" message on his radio.
He told me to give him my car-keys and he said:
"This is your lucky night, you bastard. I'll tell the station I found these."

So, I walked home and went to the Police station next day, to report my car keys lost ( and to collect them ).

I later found out the "emergency" was a car-crash which wiped-out an entire family.
I've never felt so 'sick' in my whole life. I "got away with it" because some folks died that night.

Well. From that day to this, I've NEVER touched a drop of alcohol when I'm driving. I still love drinking, but, drinking and driving - NO !!!!!!!

S.B.

[Lina]

Wow! What a story! I bet you would feel even worse if you "crushed" somebody! So, you are a lucky guy...
As for myself, I just got to my "ligal drinking age "(two months ago) life is so much easier now!

As for driving, I'm a bad driver to start with (that's what they say) so if I drive drunk I will end up for sure in the ER with a couple of extra people. So, I do not even attempt to do it...
As for a funny story...don't have many. I guess I'm not a "big drunk"! Which is OK, I do not want to be one. I only remember, a long time ago, on a high school party, when my first attempt to leave the place of partying... was trying to walk out of the room through the big mirror, which was very close to the door. Actually, it'll be wrong to say I remember...it's one of those stories when that's what others tell you the next day!
I guess, at that time, I was exploring how much of alcohol is too much for me. It's very useful that I know it now

[Edited by Lina on 14th February 2001 at 00:53]

[Stephen_Bailey]

What is the "legal drinking age" where you are ??

It's 18 in Britain - but NO ONE waits that long

Ok. Here's my most AWFUL experience with the demon "alcohol."

I used to be in the Army. Once, years ago, some of us had a 'party' in the 'block' where women soldiers lived. I was only 18 and had SO much to drink, I collapsed and fell to sleep.
Two of my "friends" very carefully removed all my clothes, replaced them with WOMEN'S clothing and left me (at 1AM) in the recreation room.
One hour later, many girl soldiers returned from 'night-club' - and there I was !!!!!!!!!

[steve_vlasenko]

Stephen,

One dollar for a bottle of horilka is a lot to spend when you only earn fifty a month.

Your lucky they only changed you closes, surely must have shaved you!

Hallucinating on samahon is an experience to be missed However, getting to that state seems to be the order of the day every time I go to a village.

It's seems to be a Ukie sport the first time you visit a village to get the English man bladdered on samahon. As I was weaned on horilka it takes some time and due to stupid pride leads to a massive hangover in the morning. Stiil it's not too long before we start on the samahon again.

I was once so drunk I went to the toilet in the tool shed rather than WC. Boy did that take some explaining in the morning
Happy days

Take care

Vlas.

[Lina]

In my dear, puritan U.S. it's 21.
Of course, it does not mean that one has to wait that long!!! I do not think that anyone does( visit University dorms for ex. ), but...It just makes life much easier. I mean getting into the night clubs...or just buying a stupid bottle of wine for the dinner.

P.S.
I do not know why the law is set up to be that way. I guess because of the same old drunk-driving!

[Behemot]

A memory that comes to my mind when I think about the Power of Stolichnaya; it is situated in Amsterdam, the dear hometown I left a year ago to chase Internet Koala's in Australia.

Imagine a small, intimate 23rd birthday celebration on a boat, peacefully floating on a Dutch lake, half an hour outside the Amsterdam canals.
It was summer, August, soft breeze, the sun was setting, music, friends all around me.. I'm really enjoying it, so does everybody else.
The only sound coming from the mirror-like lake was the growling now and then of a Waterpolice speedboat. It zigzagged across the lake, like a tipsy duck, to check for drunken sailors on each boat. Fortunately, the halo of happiness glowing around my boat saved me from a fine. Because yes, I already enjoyed a bottle of Chardonnay...
Are you still with me?
After some time, the sun had set; my friends opened the first Stolichnaya. Their magnificent toasts made Behemot purr of joy... We decided to start the engine and head for the city. There were about 25 people on the boat, which is just about the maximum it can handle, designed as it is for 6 passengers. But you know, when you're having fun, nothing really matters. Some people enjoyed sitting on the roof, others on the deck. Some were talking in the kitchen, as it should be, and others where hiding in the little bedroom. And Behemot was steering the boat.
Singing, drinking, the warm evening breeze, it was almost as beautiful as an evening in Kiev can be in May, when the 'kashtani'(the chestnut trees) are in bloom and the girls walk in elegant dresses over the boulevards. Ahhh!
To cut the story short, many bottles of vodka further, we arrived in the old centre of Amsterdam. There, on the right side of the Central Station, lies a beautiful old ship. It's an exact replica of the 'Amsterdam', the infamous 18th century ship, used by the United East Indies Company to sail the seas and conquer the world in the times that Holland was a great seafaring nation.
The ship had been rebuilt to give us, 'Amsterdammers', the proud feeling that we have more than just dope to offer the visitors of our great city.
That night, this ship definitely impressed us. It was brightly lit from all sides, majestic, docked next to the pier of the Maritime Museum and we, drunken pirates, on our small, overloaded motor yacht, gazed at it with admiring, dazzled eyes...
Who came up with the idea, I don't know, but all of a sudden Behemot was docking the boat next to this huge ship, in order to conquer it. As moths we were hypnotized by the bright lights. This ship, with its many cannons, is an echo of the real ship 'The Amsterdam', a Dutch East Indiaman built in 1748, that ran aground on January 26, 1749 near Hastings shortly after leaving Texel on her maiden voyage en-route to Indonesia. Almost immediately she sank into the soft mud and sand of the beach, which curtailed contemporary salvage and ensured that the hull and its contents were well preserved.
Behemot, the illustrious 'captain' of our bunch of very happy, drunken sailors among which the girls were actually braver than many of my male friends, started climbing the side of the ship first.
Soon everybody tried to conquer this floating Mount Everest. Standing on the deck, Behemot came to his senses for a minute. I looked around, saw the cannons, the lanterns, the thick ropes and felt as in Roman Polanski's movie 'Pirates'! The city was dark, people were asleep, just my jolly gang was cheerfully attacking the floating Dutch Pride. And with success. We were on board.
Well, as some drunk wise men once said: 'if you do wrong, better go all the way'... All the way? One look at the Dutch Flag, up there high, high in top of the 'Crow's Nest' was enough.
Behemot and a friend started climbing, higher and higher, our eyes focused on the flag in top. We didn't pay attention to the screaming of the pirates down below and continued climbing for a long, long time. A cold breeze made me shiver, in spite of all the vodka.
I still don't believe we were doing this. We must have been nuts! We kept climbing until there was nothing else than the wind, the full moon and the clouds. At the top, there were no ropes left to hold on to. A wooden vertical extension of the mast, not designed for climbing and very slippery kept the flag outside our reach. There was no means way of getting closer to the flag except by embracing suicidal bravery. The last effort of the 'Amsterdam' to protect its banner against pirates.
I looked around and saw the old city of Amsterdam in all its glory! Something everyone has to see at least once in his life! Beautiful! ...and frightening. All of a sudden I start to panic; what are we doing...?! Enough, Behemot...! We clamb higher... my heart was bouncing in my chest like there was no tomorrow... The next crazy moment Behemot clawed at the flag. I reached it, I touched the rough texture, it felt like something from another dimension. I embraced the Holy Grail!
By the way, kids, don't try this at home. Grabbing a flag with one hand, while your legs are tightly clamped around a big wooden stick, while your other hand tries to hold on to it: it's not easy. The opening scene of Mission Impossible 2 comes pretty close. Anyway, it took ages to detach our nation's proud banner. We did it though and Behemot descended with the flag. It was covering my whole body. Everybody was cheering and congratulating me, except for a security guard with a funny looking lapdog who walked towards the ship on the pier to see what disturbed the peace and quiet on this historic vessel. The dog grew suspicious. While the guard was clumsily climbing the Amsterdam, everybody quickly left the ship on the other side. As he appeared on deck, only two friends and me remained, admiring the view, breathing in some fresh air. Why we were still on board? As captain Behemot, I obviously had to rescue women and children first! (At least the flag was hidden in my boat). Everybody was in and on my boat, silently laughing. Some ten meters higher on the deck of the big ship, the guard asked us what we were doing. We replied 'strolling' and he urged us to come with him. So we did. We obediently deserted off the ship, stood on the pier and we all started walking, the little lapdog barking at us from a safe distance, to Guard's office at the Maritime Museum. Then we whispered to each other, very lucid -- was it the vodka or the sudden urge for Freedom -- 1....2....3!!!!! and we jointly jumped in the cold canal! Swimming for our lives! The lapdog passionately barking from the pier, the guard, flabbergasted, scratching his head. 'Where can these guys possibly swim to??!! There's only water out there!' Wrong. Long live my good old boat.
The tipsy crowd started cheering when they saw us appear, three wet heads in the dark water, swimming around the big antique ship. Someone started the engine on my ship, the soaked captain was dragged on board, dried his whiskers and tail, and off we went, fast as lightning, heading towards the end of the night! A bottle of vodka to celebrate! What a journey, WHAT A FLAG, what a story!

The next day I woke up in my bed at home, sneezing, covered with an enormous flag and hangover.
Our bold capture was all over the local news.
'Flag removed from The Amsterdam'!

When I read the newspaper article, it appeared that, attached to the mast there was a little chord that, when you pulled it, could get the flag down in less then a minute, easily, without risking one's life.

I decided to stop drinking for a week.
How stupid can you be?
'But then again, how much fun did we have!!,' whispered Behemot.

Is there a conclusion to be drawn from this story? Maybe about Pepsi, maybe about the Russian Soul? 'Why live life the easy, boring way if you can enjoy it to the Max?!'

Let me know.

Yours sincerely,

Behemot


P.S.
Now, two years later, in joyful warm Sydney, my present home, a perfect replica of the famous 17th century Dutch ship the 'Batavia' has been towed into the harbor. On the morning of the fourth of June 1629, the ship was wrecked on the Houtman Abrolhos, off the coast of Western Australia.
What a view.....


[Edited by Behemot on 15th February 2001 at 15:14]