"Salo" - what's that?

[johnstruthers]

Salo is indispensable. As Irinka said, you can improve a lot of dishes just by tossing some in. It is the preferred chaser in good company for sto gram. It is essential in putting on a good table. You can use it to grease up the skillet to fry potatoes: Delicious! You have little pieces of fried salo mixed in among the potatoes, like little prizes.

There was a salo crisis in Odessa in 1994. Someone got sick from some salo they bought at the Northern Rynok (I think they got sick off something else, but they blamed it on salo), so the health people got involved, and decided that they should take all the salo off the market until they could settle this.

Merchants who sold salo had to have it inspected, and you could ask any militiaman to pass it to the right people for the inspection. Well, of course, in no time the only people who had salo were militiamen. In the process, salo, innocent salo, had become a device for corruption, a medium for bribes, and it was like a nice person with mud on her face.

So you couldn't buy salo anythwere. But one night, on Prospekt Dobrovol'skogo, someone wrote in letters two meters high, in red paint, in the style of those old revolutionary banners "Ya khochu salo" (I want salo). Our mayor, Edik Gurverts, went on television the next day and announced that the salo crisis was over ("I have heard the voice of the people!"), that anyone who wants to sell salo may do so, and anyone who wants to buy it can buy it.

We were a brand new democracy at the time, and it caused a lot of people to believe that maybe this democracy thing isn't so bad, if elected officials can act that fast, and especially if they can actually put salo on the table just like that.

[Kathy]

That was a funny story Vanya. I cannot say I am a salo fan, although before he became a vegetarian, my husband ate salo with black bread.

[johnstruthers]

So your husband understands the huge sacrifices he made in order to convert to vegetarianism. The burden might be too great: He should be persuaded that salo is just the salted bark of the pig tree. You wouldn't have any more black bread crumbs under the blankets from when he secretly eats salo out of your sight.

[Kathy]

Vanya - a salo story for you. When my husband served in the navy, there was a michman on his ship who had a sharp sense of smell for salo, garlic and Ukrainian bread. A Belarussian, Sasha, he was 197 cm tall and weighed between 220 and 240 kg. Ships, as you can imagine, have many small doorways. My MIL and other mothers from Ukraine used to send 3 kg of salo, garlic and 3 loaves of black bread to their sailor sons when possible, which they would share with Ukrainian shipmates. Knowing that Sasha would look for them (they eventually learned he always asked if any khokhol' got a parcel), they would go to a missile room with a narrow doorway (75 cm) and eat their salo. Sasha always found them and begged for salo. To tease him, they would eat their salo with gusto, and cut Sasha only a paper thin slice of salo and a small slice of bread - he couldn't reach them (only his arm fit through the door) and, in his salo deprived condition, would threaten them with everything possible - all the terrors of Soviet hell, while they laughed. Watching someone else eat salo was torture for Sasha, so eventually, they would relent from their teasing and slice him a half kilo and give him a loaf of bread and a few cloves of garlic, all of which he would devour in one sitting. Thereafter, he would be happy and pleasant to deal with the rest of the week.

[johnstruthers]

Kathy, your husband is a cruel, cruel man! But I am glad they relented. Judging from the mass of Sasha, they were wise to keep the chunk out of his hands until they had had their portions. A gift of salo, garlic and black bread! It is the dream gift of any worthy Ukrainian in the service, or otherwise.

I recently committed the (nearly)unforgivable sin. I had a chunk of salo in the back of the fridge that I had (!) forgotten, and it does not hold up forever. I had to throw it out! I confessed this to a friend, and he said he understood, that I was not a bad person, he had kept chocolate in the fridge so long once he had to throw it out, too. I promised him I would never reveal his secret if he told no one mine.

[Kathy]

I am sure your indiscretion will be forgiven Vanya, although I hope you set the salo out for the birds.

[Zbyszek]

Oh, Dear Kathy we need your posts again! I hope your young one is recuperating smoothly. You are surely very busy while we are having a wonderful discussion about salo/sadlo. Please drop in from time to time just to say you are living. Your previous posts are wonderful and will not be forgotten.

We are having new good forumers and our discussion is fine. John is invariably understimated as it comes to his resources of good humour. His last share in History board extended from the threat of Ukraine's split to salo.
Batu said something interesting about Dr Kvashnievski's diet.
You surely know that the famous diet pyramid has been redesigned lately and now refined rice and white bread are as bad as candies! Poor Chinese, I can already hear their moaning ...lol.
One of my daugthers was so serious about Kwashniewski's "theories" that some three years ago she declared: no potatoes and no bread on my plate! Instead, she demanded double portion of steak. I was totally desperate.
The outcome is this we both are well and slim and she gradually came to senses.
New pyramid has its strong base which seems out of context: MOVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

My uncle (stryjek[stryak] in PL; it means Dad's brother) loved salo but he worked very hard all day in his potato or rye field. He was slim all his life and died at 80. Salo was indispensible I think for people doing hard manual work.
We are mostly lazy, office-like workers who do not sweat at all so salo can be unfavourable - that is my view.

Nickolas, who likes making business, is welcome to Poland to make us happy of getting rid of mountains od salo which is too difficult to sell here. Does Ukraine need salo? We can provide any amount ..lol

Batu, I live in Warszawa but I have a family in a village some 100 km away, along Warszawa-Lviv direction.
Serdeczne pozdrowienia dla Waszmosci z Syreniego Grodu (sexy Siren is Warsaw's symbol).
Actually Warsaw is all in white and we feed wonderful little birds we call sikorka with bread but they prefer salo I am sure. Warsaw is a city of many parks close to the downtown so there are millions of birds here.

[Edited by Zbyszek on 7th February 2003 at 16:28]